Gobbles Parts. Mommy Parts.

Those are part of your chest, Daddy?  I hear coming from Gobbles' room as his shirtless father is dressing him this morning.  He has been facinated with nipples lately.  Last week as I was changing him for bed, he said the same of himself.  He pointed to his nipples and told me that they were part of his chest (the only explanation Daddy could give when he was asked the night before).  He proceeded to point out that the Lil Lobster Roll had them as well.  I laughed and told him everyone had them.

I knew the day would come when Gobbles would start to ask about his body, but I always thought it would start with the obvious.  He's seen me use the bathroom and even proceeds to "wipe himself" like I do when he's finished with the potty.  Yet he hasn't seemed to notice the differences down there.  Which I am thankful for because I'm not ready to explain that and have him going around at school and telling everyone.  Which of course he would do because he's that little know-it-all.

However, I think we've come to a point where I need to stop changing in front of him, especially now that I'm weaning the Lobster Roll.  A few weeks ago I was reading his bedtime stories and he told me he wanted to see them.  By them, he meant what I feed his sister from.  He started lifting up my shirt and I told him that they are private for a lady and he should not go around insisting that girls lift up their shirts.  He started the why game and it was then I first realized that the whole "being in a state of undress in front of him" phase was coming to an end.

I'm sure the mixed messages of me whipping my boobs out to feed her one minute then telling him they're private the next are very confusing, so I'm glad that the nursing will likely be done in a few weeks.  In that sense.  The other part of me is sad to be through the nursing phase, which seemed to pass twice as quickly as it did with Gobbles.

I've already started the hormonal shift that comes with weaning though, going from down and sad to giddy in the same moment.  When the news came of Spoony's little boy I gushed over the pictures (he's friggan adorable after all!), and got a little weepy realizing that that Lobster Roll is so big now.  I told hubs that I wanted a baby and he looked at me like I was nuts you HAVE a baby!.  True, but not one so little.  I even got a little wistful watching the Kardashians the other day when Courtney was rubbing her belly.  I thought to myself, oh I want to be pregnant again.  I confessed this to hubs and he again thought I was crazy - You hate being pregnant he said, and secretly vowed celibacy as long as he can to make sure it won't happen again anytime soon.

I know this will pass, and I know I don't have to wean at 6 months, but it's just right for me.  Work is ramping up, including a few day trips and all day meetings, so pumping started to get in the way.  I'm dying to get back in shape, but in order to start working out again as intensely as I would like I need to get my boobs to shrink (after 2 weeks of weaning we're down to a G, would love to be back to a DD).  The Lobster took a bottle of formula no problem the other day when we tried, so I think she'll survive.  And her Daddy has been waiting in the wings trying to get some bonding time in with her at night when she wakes up.  Ok I made that last one up, but it would help me out a lot if we could trade off who wakes up for the 5am feeding.  It's been pretty pointless for him to get up so far because if I didn't get up and feed her I'd still have to pump. 

So my freezer supply is slowly dwindling, I'm down to feeding in the morning and evening without pumping in between, and my moods are erratic but at least I'm aware enough to know when and why it's happening.  I'm snuggling my little love bug all the time, and I think I'll still willingly get up with her more times than not because I do love our middle of the night snuggles, but with teeth coming in any day now she doesn't have to be chewing on me to get the comfort and closeness she needs. 

I'm proud that I was able to nurse again for my goal time period again, and looking forward to having my body all to myself for a little while.  Because I know myself and it's just a matter of time before that fever will strike for real, and with any luck, we'll get to do the whole thing over again. 

Under ladies' shirts are private but I can still share what they wear on their heads!

Lobster - trucks are for boys! But here you can have the purple one. 

My first picture that I took all by myself on mommy's phone!  Not only am I interested in nipples, but I love toes too!

If we didn't cost so much to raise, Mommy would have five more!  Who wouldn't?

Last Week, Past Week

I'm almost finished my last week of my "extended" maternity leave... and the past week has been nonstop chaos in the gobblestime household. 

Let's start with the past week.  Last Wednesday started out pretty normal, until hubs got a call that his dad was being transported to HUP via ambulance because his local hospital wasn't equipped to handle him.  Father-in-law, with a history of heart issues, had been having some chest pains and went to his routine appointment thinking he would have some caths replaced.  When the doctors took a look they deemed it much worse and ordered open heart surgery.  When hubs said it was likely we'd have to cancel plans for the wedding he was in on Friday, I realized this was pretty serious. 

Sis-in-law came down right away and she and hubs went down to spend time with their dad before his surgery, which was scheduled for Thursday morning.  After Gobbles got a horrible nights' sleep on Wednesday, he slept in pretty late Thursday, so despite having a few showings and a vet appointment, I kept both kids home with me as well.  As soon as we woke up we called hubs for an update.  The Penn doctors had re-reviewed Pop's charts, and decided that they could do what the doctors at the other hospital weren't capable of, and place a few stints in the arteries at his heart.  Everyone was relieved to hear this because the risks and recovery are so much better.  Instead of being in the ICU for over a week, he'd only be in for a day or so.  By Thursday afternoon, hubs decided we would be attending the wedding, but he wouldn't be making the rehearsal which was Thursday evening 3 hours away in North Jersey. 

Meanwhile, at home, the battle over bedtime continued with Gobbles' nap not happening because of the timing of the vet appointment, the Lobster Roll's nap was not happening because of Gobbles' incessant screaming, and I was an emotional mess because I had spent the day contemplating hubs' health fate since he has the same heart as his father, who had his first attack in his early 40s.  So by the end of the day all I wanted was a glass of wine and a hug from my husband.  My mother, God Bless Her, took the kids 12 hours earlier than planned - that evening instead of the next day.  As exhausted as we were, hubs and I took advantage and went out for a last minute late dinner, down at our new favorite suburban byob - Styers Garden Cafe at Terrain.  Farm fresh 5 course tasting.  YUM.

The next morning was more running around as hubs gave the lawn a much needed mow (for the weekend's showings), and I ran the dogs down to the boarder and got a quick haircut.  We were finally wedding-bound with my sister in tow around noon (her hubs, also in the wedding, had gone up Thursday).  We got a text from said brother in law when we were still on the road asking how far we were - as hubs was needed for pictures.  Hilarity ensued as we drove up the highway while he tried to put on a three piece tailed tux in the backseat.  We finally got to the hotel, after first going to the wrong one (two Hyatt's in the same town?  Stupid jersey!) just as the wedding party was ready to go.  Sis and I rushed off to get ready. 

The wedding ceremony was beautiful, and this couple is one of my favorite couples - they're the type that are so genuinely sweet and considerate that they almost make me feel bad about myself for being the a-hole that I am.  Having been to a million church weddings including my own, they're typically all the same.  This one was even more beautiful though because the groom had recently converted so the couple was all involved in the church, and the priest was able to speak about them as he knew - it really made the ceremony extra special.  And the food at the reception?  I knew it was going to be good considering we were in North Jersey / practically Manhattan, but I didn't realize I'd be scraping clean the crab dip pot or chasing around the lamb chop guy during cocktail hour.  I normally don't even like lamb chops.  Of course I drank my fill (plus some) and partied the night away, with just a few breaks to pump in the bathroom when the milk started to flow...

Next morning, or should I say 3 hours after I went to bed, I woke up with horrible horrible pain in my boobs, and a little in my head.  Thinking my mastitis had returned, I went into the bathroom and pumped pumped pumped, but nothing was coming out.  Of course I didn't drink enough to replace the pumping dehydration, let alone deal with the hangover, so I was in rough shape by the time we checked out and went to breakfast.  I couldn't get down any of the food because my chest hurt too much and just wanted to get into the car and hooked up to the pump, thinking if I could relieve the chest pain the rest of me would feel better.  It was a temporary solution, and as hubs drove I finally got some milk out and got them to unclog.  Just as I got my pump put away, the queasiness set in.  I had just enough time to grab a gallon sized ziploc bag that was intended to carry pump parts before i lost it.  The few bites of breakfast and the dinner the night before... let's just say the bag was full when we pulled over on the side of the road to dump it... ugh.  I'm just glad I was neat about getting sick and that the bag had no holes.... And I'm mad at myself because I'm not going to be able to drink my face off at a wedding this coming weekend for fear of not recovering in time for my first day of work (Sorry Kite!).  #breastfeeding momma problems, ha!

Anyway, back to the last week, so Saturday and half of Sunday were spent recovering, and off to the local funfair we went on Sunday afternoon.  I think my poor son is more fearful than me - we were in line for these dogs that went around in a circle (think dumbo ride, but smaller), and he lost it.  No Dogs!  They scare me!  They go in a circle buds, come on!  So I asked if he wanted the school bus instead, which basically went around in a vertical circle (like a ferris wheel but really small).  He agreed.  No sooner had the guy shut the door to the ride when Gobbles let out a WAIL.  Like he was being tortured, he started screaming - Get off.  Get OFF.  I DONT LIKE IT GET OFF!!  So yea he kinda ruined it for everyone around us, oh well.  Live and learn.  We decided no more motion rides, and I took him on this plaything where you walked through a hall of mirrors, up some steps, then down a slide.  Nope, wouldn't take that either.  At this point we were kinda over the fair and walked home, Gobbles whining the whole way. 

It wasn't until after dinner that we realized why - the poor kid had a fever of 102.  We started rattling off the list - does your belly hurt? No.  Throat hurt? No. Teeth Hurt?  No.  Ear Hurt?  No. no. no.  Since everything was a no and 102 isn't high we let it go figuring we'd see how he was.  The only problem was that he was so cranky and so whiny so we kept him home from school Monday.  The fever came and went over Monday so I called the peditrician on Tuesday and they said with no other symptoms just keep monitoring it and resting.  By Tuesday afternoon he was fine and we planned to bring him back to school Wednesday.  Of course that's when it hit.  Gobbles went to bed ok Tuesday night, cranky and exhausted from me having had to drag him out of the house for a showing and for my eye dr appointment (trying to get it all in before I go back to work).  He woke up in the middle of the night sweating profusely and screaming.  His face was pale and he looked like he had jumped from a swimming pool into bed, so we changed him and paged the pediatrician.  A few minutes later he was sleeping soundly again, this time in our bed.  We all fell asleep assuming the pediatrician would call back if it was something to be worried about - I'd had a hunch that I've just never seen a child sweat out a fever. 

The doctor called back in the morning and told us to bring him in just to be safe, so they checked and turns out my boy had viral tonsillitous!  His throat was enflamed but strep cultures came back negative, meaning he could return to school upon feeling better.  (His fever didn't come back after Tuesday night).  He spend Wednesday watching episode after episode of Barney (thank you Netflix for the damn Adventure Bus and your damn songs about elephants and pizza).  He also took a long nap and woke up in the cold sweat again, but finally, after sleeping all night last night, woke up bright and cheery and ready for school (until we got there).

Dropoff today was pure hell because he'd been out for a week straight, I could only imagine how horrible he'd be if he had spent 3 months at home with me - it would have taken a month to get back into the routine instead of a day.   And my poor lil lobster roll was in school all week being a happy smiley angel because I wanted to keep her away from Gobbles in case he was contageous.  Today they're both there so I can clean up the house and get prepped for work and all (and heck, we're paying for it), and tomorrow I'll have one last day off with my little girl - manis pedis perhaps?

So to sum up we've had a rough week in this house...

but we've come out full of smiles:

Camping- Baby Style!

Ok, I've dillydalleyed enough.  It's my last hour with my work laptop (which, yes, I use for personal use such as facebooking and blogging and whatever else I may need it for), so I don't know when the next chance I'll get to blog away.  Gee Gobblesmom, you can't drag yourself up to the bedroom and use the 6 year old desktop computer to play around on the internets?  No, I cannot.  It runs toooo slooow.

Funny I should be without the internet at my fingertips this weekend because last weekend, out of choice, it was the same thing.  As well as no tv.  And it was liberating.  I haven't been that happy in a long time, just spending lazy hours with my husband and son.  Time just moved slower, it was amazing.  So next time I complain about having no time, please smack me in the face, tell me to turn of the tv and computer, and go outside and jump in a lake!

The weekend started off pretty hectic, as we were without power for over 24 hours leading up to our departure.  But I just wrote about that last week, so onward to camping!  With beautiful weather on the forecast for the weekend, the traffic to the mountains was a bit horrendous.  A typical 90 minute ride turned into about 3 hours, but it was worth it because I ended up installing google maps onto my blackberry and had fun watching it triangulize our location on a little map.  It's the little things.  And I'm a dork. 

Anyway, we made it up before dark and pitched our tent among the tent city our friends had made.  This year, we had to upgrade from a three person to a six person tent, just because of one 20 lb addition!  I'm sure I mentioned this a million times too, but damn to babies need a lot of gear.  I should also disclaim that we weren't exactly roughing it.  There was a small cabin with a working bathroom and kitchen.  Friends' parents get this place for a week every year and invite all of their children's friends to stay, in a tent, just outside the cabin overlooking the lake.  It is beautiful, and we are so grateful to be a part of this little family, even if we only see them once a year.

Gobbles was brimming with excitement because he was going to see his girlfriend for just the second time in his life.  After settling in and grabbing some grub, darkness set in and we all sat around the campfire chitchatting or just staring into it, enjoying the warmth.  It did get a bit chilly that first night, probably down into the fifties - we were up in the mountains after all.  Our tent was closest to the fire, so we put Gobbles down to bed in the pack & play and enjoyed our friends and some toasted hot dogs. When we turned in for the night and disrupted the little man, we just brought him onto the air mattress with us to keep him warm. 

The next morning it was warming up quickly, so we wasted no time getting Gobbles into his swimsuit and out into the lake.  His girlfriend was there waiting for him, and hubs found a couple of swim rings in the cabin, perfect for kids this size.  At first he was a little iffy in the water, but it didn't take long for my little man to start loving his swim.  His daddy took such good care of him walking him out into the calm, warm lake and letting him have fun. 

Hmm. This is interesting...

I love the feel of this stuff... whaddya call it?

Help!  I'm floating away!

Ahh ha ha. My feet are wrinkly

Why hey there pretty lady!  Come here often?

While the lake was pretty much the highlight of the trip for me, we also had good food, good beer (homebrewed by a friend, who will have his own brewery soon enough, mark my words), and an overall relaxing time.  We went for a few walks and played in the annual softball game, which I had to miss out on last year since I was knocked up.  My team won and I managed to contribute with a few hits, runs, and a lot of double plays (2nd base holla!). 

And the biggest thing I learned that weekend has nothing to do with camping, though it has a little to do with nature.  You know the myth about crying babies triggering a mothers' milk?  Um yea, it's true.  See, there was another baby there as well.  A three week old (and you think I'm nuts bringing a 6 monther?).  The newborn crying during our second night there, with the distinct pitch of wehhh wehhh wehh, had my 6 days of no production boobs leaking.  All over.  With clogged ducts that were hard and oh so painful.  I couldn't relieve myself by feeding the little guy because I'd been drinking all day, and my pump was back home.  I managed to find some relief by hand expressing (ouch) and using some warm compresses.   Looking back, it's kind of hilarious but that night I didn't know how I'd make it through.   But alas, I have survived.  I look forward to going back next year hopefully with more next generation campers.  As my friend's dad said - with these little ones comes a whole new era.

Thank you everyone, we had so much fun!

We'll miss you.

I am tired and Mommy's beer is empty.  So until next year!

Just another typical night. Plus weaning.

I may look innocent, but inside I am calculating just the right time to cry in order to get the most "mommy guilt" return on my investment

Last night was rough.  Gobbles knows what he wants, when he wants it, and how to get it.  This little man has more power over me than anyone ever has in my life.  Well except maybe Donnie Wahlberg.  Such power that he had me in hysterics a few hours before I was headed out to sign the contract for my new job.  Questioning everything.

It was hubs "turn" last night, to deal with the baby in every which way but feeding, as the nighttime feedings, though rare, still fall on me.  Gobbles went to sleep pretty easily last night, and I should have known it was too good to be true.  He hadn't quite finished his "half breastmilk / half formula" bottles at daycare yesterday, and coming off of the first weekend with boobie only twice a day, he was aching for a little more. 

Cue the midnight screaming.  I mean wailing.  Hubs finally got out of bed, after making sure of course that I was awake to the point of worry, and went in to take care of the baby.  Clean diaper, hugs and kisses from Daddy, paci replacement.  More crying.  I sat up in bed and rolled my shirt, knowing what was coming... Sweets, I think he's hungry. 

Of course.  Strangely enough, this only happens on his nights.  I fed Gobbles for a few minutes and he pulled off, satisfied. (He has become a little champ - can clear a boob in under 5 minutes now).  I gave him a hug and a kiss, and handed him back to hubs to go back to his crib.  Being that it was only midnight, it wasn't close enough to morning for us to bring him into the bed, we've been trying to hold that off until at least 4am.

As I was handing him back, the hysteria began.  Our child was inconsolable as my husband left the room with him in his arms.  It took all of about 5 seconds for me to realize what I'd done.  The poor kid just wanted to hang out with his Momma after spending the majority of his waking day at daycare.  Overwhelmed by guilt, I started crying hysterically too.  I ran into the nursery to get him, pulled him from husbands arms, and held him close to me.  The baby's sobbing quickly stopped, only making my tears come harder. 

Hubs was now thoroughly confused, and seemingly more concerned to make sure all my "helping" wasn't going to negate the fact that this was "his" night and I'd still be on baby duty tomorrow.  I tried to explain what was wrong, how I felt, and what I assumed Gobbles was thinking about only getting his boobie twice a day now.  Poor kid doesn't know why.  Hubs, being that ever so sympathetic and sensitive man that I married, told me Babies cry.  That's what they do.  I began to question everything again, working mom verses stay at home, if it's going to ruin the baby to have him sleep in our bed yet again.  Hubs drifted off to sleep somewhere during me chattering on, sick of the same conversation that I always have.  Gobbles hugged my neck, gave me his "kisses", and babbled back to me, which of course swept away any fear or anxiety that had come over me.  I set up his boppy "nest" between our pillows and we too finally fell asleep. 

The emotional shift I am experiencing combined with the difference in physical closeness that Gobbles is going through is making this more difficult than I had pictured.  I would have thought it was all just a horrible dream if not for waking up to an Ahhh- aaaahhhh! in my ear, *slapslapslap* on my hand, and wide-eyed gummy grin I saw when I finally opened my eyes this morning.

As the alarm went off, I heard my husband redeem himself with just one sentence.  He said to our son,  It's a good thing you're cute buddy, otherwise I don't know if you'd be able to get away with this.  Look at all you put your mommy through. 

And with that, we're back on the same page.  At least until tonight's bedtime battle.

Turn and Face the Strange

ch ch ch changess...

Life sure is easier when the biggest decisions are should we play with the weeble or the toy phone?

Well it's time.  Time to change the status quo.  The hubs and I decided that it would be best for me to move on in my career and pursue the opportunity that was presented.  I accepted the job on Friday.  The ultimate rationale was twofold. 

First, even though I'm enjoying many work-at-home days at the moment, it could turn on a dime and it could be work- from - Peoria or some other random middle of nowhere place.  And then I'd be kicking myself for not taking the chance to get out.

Second, I really felt like I "clicked" with the people on the interview.  I know, work is work whatever, but having never really bonded with the people at my current job, I miss the comradery, the actual looking forward to going to work in the morning.  Sounds cliche, but it could happen, right?  There was a time a few years ago where even though I complained, I had friends at work to complain with, it was great! Hoping to find that again, well, without the complaining part again.  Such an idealist, I am.

I still have a month to finish up some projects here and prep for the new job, with a start date set for July 6. 

Now some changes on the Gobbles front, he started on formula over the weekend.  Sort of.  He's still nursing morning and night, but the bottles in between are half formula, half breastmilk.  By the end of the week those bottles should be all formula. 

He's also getting sitting up completely now and started lurching into a crawl.  Still not actually mobile, but getting there any day now!

Aww, my little boy is sitting up.  Is that why you look so smug Gobbles?

Ahh Ha Ha Nope.  I was makin' poopies Momma!!

look ma, no hands!

there he is! sitting up, unassisted, long enough for me to snap a picture before he topples over. i'm proud of my lil man. and somewhat ashamed that i was not quick enough when he did topple over and he konked his head on the floor. twice. didn't seem to bother him much though, a minute of hugs and raspberries and all was forgotten (hence the reason it happened again, i'm not a bad mom i just forget sometimes...)

it's been a good week, we've let gobbles fuss a bit during the night instead of flying out of bed to replace the paci. and surprisingly enough, he's actually gone right back to sleep most times. this better night mood could also be attributed to the fact that he's now eating food twice a day - sweet potatoes with his 2nd bottle at daycare and cereal at dinnertime. next week, we try peaches!

and in two weeks, it's d-day for momma! d as in get these boobs back down to a d cup (or below!!!). my current weaning plan is this: right now i've gotten myself down to pumping just once a day, using that and the freezer supply to fill his daycare bottles. still currently breastfeeding in the morning and night. come d-day, gobbles will get his first taste of formula, first one bottle a day, then two, and so on. that same day i'll stop nursing in the morning and only give him the boob for bedtime. after he builds up to all of his bottles becoming formula, and my body has slowed to just nursing at bedtime, i'll cut that out too. boy i sure do sound like the sweet, nurturing mother, don't i? i figure this will probably take about a month, so hopefully by july 4th i'll be able to kick back and have some beers without worrying about being wasteful by pumping / dumping.

bring on the cabbage leaves!

another sign the kid's getting too old for the boob: when he can hold the camera and take self portraits, myspace style.

hormonal

i think i've figured out why i've been in such a rotten mood the past couple weeks. first, i'm sure stress has a lot to do with it, playing the job game is taking up a lot of my mind... the game goes like this: can i get a new job with a great commute and good work / life balance before i get sent away on a project across the country? i mean, if i knew i was going to be assigned locally for the remainder of the year, i'd be fine to stick with what i'm doing. but the nature of the beast is, boom, go to the middle of nowhere next tuesday! and stay for 8 weeks. i've never lived in such fear of anything as much as i dread getting a call from one of the senior managers with that message.

but, even when the job has been put out of my mind, i still seem to be the queen of bittertown. dropping snide remarks about why this pisses me off or that is so annoying or i'm jealous of this person or that. there is NO reason for me to be like this. none. and logical gobblesmom tells myself, concentrate on your job, your home, your family, and your BABY. somehow, crazyass nutso gobblesmom can't seem to just relax and enjoy it.

finally, after hearing just about enough from me, hubs spoke up, treading ever so lightly, "i think maybe you have a bit of postpartum". he was right to tread lightly, because i just about took his head off. "postpartum what? what are you saying? postpartum depression? it's a bit LATE for that, don't you think? and it's not like i want to harm my baby like those crazy bitches out there, i LOVE my child and would never want to hurt him!"

as much as i resented his accusations, it made me sit back and think... well i'm not pregnant anymore, but my body is still not completely my own. my milk supply has been completely wonky since gobbles started daycare. first i was pumping so much that there was an oversupply, then it took a nosedive. sometimes i'll wake up leaking, others just ridiculously sore. maybe my body is still adjusting and re-adjusting to the demands i'm putting on it.

it would be easy to blame hormones for my mood, but there may be some truth in it. when i first started the pill in college, i became the most evil bitch one could imagine, going as far as ruining one of my closest friendships. i thank god every day that a few years later i was lucky enough to get a second chance, as this friend still remains one of my best. years down the road, when i went off the pill, the raging bitch returned. a little more mature, i was able to control myself more and not kill any relationships, but i still had that bitterness inside. somehow, during my pregnancy, the hormonal mess remained, for the most part, at bay. likely due to the excitement and the anticipation of the upcoming bundle of joy.

now that i am back to work and have moments alone with my thoughts during the day, maybe it is creeping back. again, i can't just blame hormones for my thoughts, feelings, and actions, but it does make me feel a little better knowing why i feel the way i do. and that there is an end.

i have 3 weeks to make it to my goal of breastfeeding for 6 months. i have enough milk in the freezer that i can probably start dropping a pumping during the day. i am ready to start weaning, and i'm looking forward to having my body all to myself for awhile. at least until child number 2 decides to take up residence, which i'll start looking into in another year.

in the meantime, let's have another round of happiness training:

This week I am thankful for:

- playing soccer. cheesy i know, but the euphoria i feel after running around kicking a ball as hard as i can for 90 minutes each sunday gets me motivated to start the week off right... i've been playing for 22 years and still have an odd pride in my "battle scars", aka unsightly bruises.

- Thomas' bagel thins. only ONE point! i've been making breakfast sandwiches every morning with egg whites, one thin slice of cheese, and these bagels, for a great 3 point start to my day. sometimes i even have them for lunch too!

- The hippie lady dog groomer. sure, when i went to pick up the puppies she began discussing the use of medicinal marijuana in cats, but she does a great job grooming and my living room has been spoonsie bear hair free for days!

Goals:

- Get into a routine. Walk the dogs in the morning, exercise, or take a walk during lunch. even on the days i work from home i need to get OUT for some kind of "commute" to get fresh air.

- Continue diet tracking. I got way off course for a few weeks, but now that weaning will begin, i cannot afford the extra calories!

and finally - take advantage of the dogs' interest in the kid starting to crawl. just look at how encouraging cannoli is being!

enjoy the weekend all. your normal happy gobblesmom will return soon!

stop the bus...

i wanna be lonely

when seconds pass slowly

and years go FLYIN by

gotta stop the bus - i get off here!

-Ben Folds

that song has been flitting through my head for weeks now. at least the couple of lines i quoted above. though i think i disagree with the "seconds pass slowly" part. because nowadays it seems as though every second is picking up and going quicker and quicker than the last. i know i know, woe is me, you've heard it all before. probably because i write what's on my mind, and that's all that's on my mind.

this week was a series of happenings, and it's friday already! first, sunday was my first mothers' day, as well as gobbles' 5 month mark. i spent the day eating enough to put my diet and the rest of my weight watchers class to shame, i think i've taken back about 3 weeks' of progress because of it! oh well, everything from the breakfast my husband made me to the picas pizza and funfetti cake at dinner at my mom's was worth every calorie. and hey, i ran some of it off at soccer in between...


on happenings of actual importance - two friends had beautiful baby boys this week! i had the priveledge of meeting one and hope to meet the other soon enough. they are both adorable and i'm so incredibly happy for my friends. holding the little 8 lb cutie felt so different than hauling around my 20 lb giant, it's amazing how much change happens so quickly, congratulations girls and embrace every minute with the little ones, because they just don't seem to be little for long!

First tee I ever got for him, I was 5 weeks pregnant. And now it barely fits!

on the parenting side, we've hit an unexpected milestone with mr. gobbles. i wouldn't even really call it a milestone, more like a speedbump. this week all of the sudden he's become super clingy to me, rejecting the bottle from my husband before bedtime and only wanting the boob. daycare mentioned the same thing. i hope this is only temporary, that he's just in a mood, because weaning starts in t minus 3 weeks and he has to be ok with it or it's a no go. and i NEED to start weaning. see, with my head being in a million places, i actually FORGOT a critical piece to my pump yesterday at work and didn't realize it until i went into the pumping room and had all my stuff set up. i had some things that needed to get done before i left the office, so by the time i got home, i was leaking all over and crying in pain. an hour and 24 ounces later i felt sweet relief! so yes, the weaning must start soon because i'm not sure how much longer this can go on.


other than that, i'm just trying to hang onto the little moments as much as i can. my favorite time right now is weekend mornings. gobbles lets us sleep in until 7 or 7:30, then i'll get up and feed him and bring him back into bed with us. he'll sit there and giggle, talk, roll around, do tummy time, or just stare at the fan while he holds our hands and sucks his paci. those few quiet minutes, with just our little family, make up for all the craziness the week has thrown at us. if i could push pause once a week, it would be then.


this weekend, it's time for gobbles to see his roots - off to his daddy's hometown. and before we go, all i need to do is finish work, get the dogs to the boarder, change the poopy sheets in the crib (yes we wokr up this morning to the stench of a poopy diaper explosion. little man didnt seem to mind to much, slept right through it - or in it i should say. ew.), vacuum the house, and pack. oh yea and pick up the baby from daycare! so why am i wasting my time blogging? i have NO idea.

Yea, lazybones, get up and do stuff already!

dairy cow

i feel like a cow. yea. don't feel bad for me - it's not my body image (c'mon, 7 lbs from pre-preg weight, what's there to feel bad about!). it's that i really am just like a cow. since gobbles now spends most of his waking hours at daycare eating from bottles, i spend what seems like all my time being hooked up to a breastpump.

ok, it's not really all my time, but in order to keep my supply healthy (and prevent leakage), i'm pumping about 30 minutes every 3-4 hours. i've got about a weeks' worth of milk in the freezer, and almost a days' worth in the fridge. trying to do everyday normal activities, like be out of the house for more than 4 hours at a time, yields some interesting situations. this weekend i had two fun pumping stories.

i pumped while hubs drove us down 95 on the way to total wine - yes i see the irony here. see we were out helping some friends move - ok i have to sidenote for a minute. friends of ours, who are expecting their own bundle in a few short weeks (can't WAIT!), just bought the most adorable house with these built-ins in the dining room i could die for! i just want to rip them out and take them for my own china. between them, the little nooks / bookshelves in the living room, and the soso cute nursery, they definitely did good. i'm just so happy that so many good things happening right now. ok, where was i? oh yea, the milk!

so we were at the house for a few hours and i felt that all familiar tingling - yikes, gonna leak if we don't do something about this! meanwhile, hubs and i had plans (while gobbles was with his grandma and aunt) to make a total wine run while we were free. hence, the car ride pumping.

this past sunday was super soccer sunday. a 90 minute outdoor game, then playoffs, tournament style, for indoor, with about 45 minutes to spare (and 30 minutes to commute) in between. by the second half of the game, as i was trucking down the field (no subs + outta shape gobbles mom = trucking, not running), i could feel my boobs getting heavier. oh lordy, here we go. no sports bra in the world is a match for boobs that actually engorge as you're moving. i finished out the game running, er trucking, with one arm around my chest. oh what a site. somehow the goalie still commended me on shutting down their right wing. yea she prob didn't want to get splashed.

between games was my free time to get a little relief. i got in the car, moved it to the far end of the parking lot, and got to what i do best, my milkmaking. as the parking lot cleared out with the rest of the team heading to the indoor complex, i watch the clock and realized i wasn't going to make it. so i switched boobs, made sure my shirt was covering me, buckled my seatbelt, and off i went, holding the piece in place with one hand while driving with the other. i've done many things while driving in my life - text, email, gotten changed, ate, drank, filled out bank deposit forms. now i just have one more thing to add, and pray my insurance agent does not read this.

i understand no one really wants to read about my adventures with boobs. but i guess it's my little way of whining about how inconvenient it is breastfeeding. i know, wahhh wahh. but really, it's a lot harder than i had anticipated. probably one of the hardest things i've done - i'd say this commitment was harder than training for a triathlon. if i want to go somewhere, i need to time it out so i express right before and right after i go (sometimes in between); if i want a beer, i need to time that as well, then test my milk to make sure it's useable. i'll be working on something and all of the sudden realize - oh crap i gotta pump. and in order to keep the supply ample, i have to make sure i stick to the schedule.

breastfeeding has its great points too - the money we have saved from not buying formula, as well as the health benefits for the baby. i feel kind of selfish even cutting it short before my body says i'm ready. but, in order to not get a size 20 bridesmaid dress (yes, that is what my chest was measuring at when we tried some on) for the fall, i have to start weaning soon. i have exactly 7 weeks until gobbles is 6 months old. that is my goal, to make it another 7 weeks. then i'll have another 12 or so to dry up, shrink up, and smile for pictures that will be on someone's wall for an eternity.

in the meantime, this kid definitely does not look like he's going hungry. in fact, quite the opposite!

I've got my daddy's belly...

...and my momma's thighs!