It's Gobbles Time!: February 2012

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

how much stress can you cram into one time period? I'll let you know when I burst...

Boy oh boy how quickly I've forgotten. I remembered, on paper, that getting a shower was a luxury, sleep was in two hour increments, and nursing makes one thirsty. But I don't think I was prepared for the emotional effort necessary to cope with all of that, plus keeping the house clean for showings, looking for a new job, recovering from having my stomach cut open, running after an energetic two year old, taking out two puppies, one of whom is wearing an Elizabethan collar while recovering from his own surgery, oh, and caring for a newborn. Did I mention that February is "year end" at hubs work so he did not get home until well after 8pm every night?

But, somehow, we've survived. Despite feeling like a "single mom" the last four weeks and venting out to hubs my feelings on exactly that, our marriage has survived as well. Unfortunately, the house has not sold yet, Cannoli is still wearing the lampshade, and I haven't found a new job yet. So I'm still slated to return to the job from hell in less than 7 weeks, and have to add that to the balancing act of all the above. I'm exhausted thinking about it. Actually, I'm just exhausted, thinking or not...

I feel like I'm getting Lil Lobster Roll's relationship with me off to a bad start. My mind is constantly on the next "to do", and since she cries most of the time she's not being held, I'm allowing her to sleep the day away once she falls asleep just so I can get stuff done. For instance, we have a showing tonight and the house hasn't been vacuumed in two weeks, the beds need making, diaper trashes must be emptied, and toys need to be cleaned up. Wrangling two kids and two dogs out of the house during dinnertime is just what I want to be doing in the rain. I'm only blogging because it's something I can do one handed while the baby chills in the other arm. Don't know if we'll make it to the vacuum.

And it almost brings me to tears thinking about the fact that Gobbles has been going to daycare almost every day so I can have the time to do crap like this. The plan was during my recovery he'd go, then we'd spend mommy and kids time at home when I was well enough to move around. I've been back on my feet for over 2 weeks and he's still going. I have been picking him up early and spending the afternoons with him, but the guilt over sending him in the morning, despite his begging to go see his friends, is slowly killing me, and I know I'll regret it when I'm back at work. I keep telling myself that as soon as the house is sold, or it's nice out, or Lil Lobster Roll gets into a better feeding routine, that is when we'll spend days at a time together.

All so we can have more room for our little family. So the crib doesn't have to be in the same room as the guest bed. So the dogs' water bowl won't be underfoot as I try to do dishes, soaking my feet as I accidentally kick it even though it's been in the same spot for ages. Gobbles has outgrown the high chair, but during our morning routine of getting ready, he sits there in it in the middle of the kitchen while we serve his breakfast and make lunches. The dream is to have him at a kitchen table so that we can still spend those precious 30 minutes with him each morning. Besides, only 2-3 more months until the Lobstah needs the high chair anyway...

But is it all worth it? Our lives have been on hold in some ways since the house went up for sale in June. Going back and forth to the POD for stuff has gotten old, and I'm tired of lettinh strangers into our house only to tell us it shows excellently but too bad your price is based on what you paid at the height of the market... it will be when the kids don't have to lug their bikes up from the basement to take them outside and muddy towels won't line the floors of the kitchen since that's where we wipe off dirty puppy feet.

Ok, this post has gone off in a direction that I did not intend. I'll post it because it always feels better to vent, and tomorrow (or Friday??) I will post about the joys we've experienced in the last 5 weeks. Despite the tone of this, I am so happy with our little girl and the dynamic she's brought to our family.

Until tomorrow...

Friday, February 3, 2012

Little Sister

Lightning crashes, a new mother cries

This moment she's been waiting for

The angel opens her eyes

Pale blue colored eyes...

-Live

Dear Lil Lobster Roll,

You have arrived! My pretty little girl, I still can't believe you are here! And with your own thunderous entrance, already trying to outdo your big brother. While we waited and waited for his arrival, you showed up 8 days earlier than expected, early Sunday morning, the 22nd of January. You certainly made things convenient for us, with Mr. Gobbles already at your grandparents house so Mommy and Daddy could have one last night out.

We enjoyed a fabulous dinner with your Godmother and Uncle and got home less than 2 hours before my water broke. We got to the hospital just after midnight while the world was sleeping, so excited with anticipation to meet you. Your daddy settled in the chair next to me while I settled in the bed and took each contraction with excitement that you were getting closer. After 6 hours of labor you decided to throw a little curveball. I had mentioned to the doctor that you were transverse a couple weeks before, but was told you turned. This doctor was not from my regular practice because they shared weekend coverage with another team, so he decided to take a quick peak. Indeed, you had turned, but not in the direction we wanted. You were completely breach and we were told to prep for surgery, as you were coming via c-section.

Your daddy and I barely had time to digest the news before I got an epidural and was being wheeled away. Within minutes of Daddy sitting down next to me in the OR dressed in his scrubs, we heard a high pitched screaming - it was you! My little girl, you were such a peanut. 7 lbs 8 oz, almost 2 pounds less than your brother when he was born, I could not believe it! The doctors took awhile sewing me back up so your Daddy was the first one to hold you after they cleaned you up.

He held you by my head the whole time and we marvelled at your perfect features. Your beautiful blue / hazel eyes, which may or may not darken like your brothers' did. Your full head of dark hair - almost as thick as your Mommy's when she was a baby ;). You have your Daddy's nose and upper lip, but my pouty lower lip. Big hands and long toes, the latter from your father and the former from God knows where, but in common with your big brother. All in all, you really look more like your brother than anyone - save for the extra rolls he had, you guys look exactly alike. I'm so proud to have two beautiful children.

Here's a side by side comparison, no doubt you're brother and sister:

Gobbles - 2 days old

Lil lobster roll -8 days old

My lil lobster - you're not even two weeks old and we are already seeing sparks of your personality. You have spunk, girl, demanding to be fed at less than an hour old while Mommy was still in recovery, and latching like a champ. You let it be known to the world when you are hungry with your high pitched cry and frantic search for somewhere to get milk. But then, after you are satiated, you are the most mellow child I've seen. Relaxing and chilling in your seat or someone's arms, not even bothered when you blow up a diaper!

Now that the dust has settled, we've had a few days to ourselves, and Mommy is starting to feel better, I look at you and am just amazed and elated that I have such a wonderful little girl. I know in the future we'll go through phases where you'll be embarrassed of me, challenge me, and disagree with everything I say, but none of that will stop you from being my daughter, and I'll love you always. You already own your Daddy's heart and your big brother has begun wringing his hands when you cry, trying to get you to stop. Sure, he told us to put you on the floor a few times, but deep down he loves you very much too. You have brought so much joy and happiness to our family already my little peanut, we are beyond thankful that you have entered our lives.

I love you baby girl!

Love,

Momma