It's Gobbles Time!: sugar and spice

Dear Little Lobster Roll,

And just like that, with merely a month of fanfare, travel, and celebration, you turned 3. And it took me over another month just to get this letter written for you - sorry sweetie!

I still can't believe that my littlest baby is such a big girl. You have the wit and sass of a teenager, and sometimes in conversations I forget that you're just in preschool. The only physical reminder I have of that is when you are chilling watching tv that thumb is stuck in your mouth with no signs of stopping. The doctor says to distract you when I see you sucking, but he also says to limit your tv and tablet time which is nearly impossible when we need to get some kind of dinner on the table after a long day at work. And after you told him "oh yea we have an iPad I play all the time" (lie) and "gobbles uses Mommy's kindle" (truth) while I swore up and down that you guys aren't always attached to tv and devices. Then you asked him if he ever met Boo at Disney World and you told him all about your trip. Based on your animated descriptions of everything he didn't even have to run through the usual questions to check your milestones, because you just confirmed them in conversation. You logged your three year visit at 28 lbs and 37 inches, 25th percentile for weight and 50th for height- my little peanut.

You may be small, but you are mighty my dear, in your personality, imagination, sense of fashion, and confidence. When you are not throwing an epic tantrum (did I mention you might be a bit stubborn like your parents too?), or handing out sass, you are sweet and friendly at the core. Lately when I've asked you who you played with at school, you answer "everyone" which is a great improvement from your mean girl days in older toddlers when you'd sit under the climber with your two besties and tell the others they cannot play. Your teachers tell me you are helpful in class, helping kids that need it and always volunteering to clean up. Hopefully this isn't a sign of cleanliness issues born from your messy house, which I swear wouldn't be so messy if you and your brother didn't have so many toys!

The sass that I mentioned above is usually reserved for me and sometimes Daddy although lately he can do no wrong in your eyes (and that's fine by me). If I am disciplining you and tell you to go sit in the corner, or to stop yelling, you never fail to turn it back on me: No, YOU go sit in the corner. You stop yelling. Just last week on the way home, I caught you lying about something (no, I didn't hit Gobbles, No! I did not go in that classroom today) and I asked you to stop lying. Your response? Well Mommy, YOU need to stop asking me so many questions! One morning you actually told me that you don't love me for some random reason. I explained to you how much that hurt me and late that evening you snuggled up to me and said Mommy, I love you. I said I didn't but I forgot, I do. I accepted that as an apology and explained that I love you no matter what, even if you get mad at me. Let's face it munchkin, at three you already know how to push my buttons and are pulling the stuff I did when I was a teenager, just as my mother wished for me.

In fact, you certainly act older the way you are with your clothes and "style". Getting you ready for school each day is an adventure, whether it's arguing over which skirt you'll wear (the sparkly ones are reserved for weekends, you should know that by now!) or it's how to do your hair (you have all the Disney princesses' hairdos memorized), you know what you want and don't care what anyone thinks. I argue with you that a headband is used to hold your hair back and should be off your face, you pull it down so you look like some 80s rocker. You choose your outfits to match in some weird Bohemian style, and you own every look you put together. By the time I am back from letting the dogs out each night after school (about 3 minutes), you are dressed in whatever princess / fairy costume you choose from your dress up bin and that remains on until bedtime. On a recent pickup from school I found you sitting and coloring with the older girls, decked out in a police costume, hat and all. Before putting your coat on I went to help you out of it and discovered you were a construction worker, farmer, and firefighter underneath, just having layered all the costumes from the school's dress up bin on top of one another. Quite silly!

Despite your cool and calm (or raging and fit throwing) exterior, you displayed an awed shyness when we went to Disney World and you met the characters. With the princesses especially, you gazed at each of them as you remained in an uncomfortably long extended hug. Usually the people waiting behind you would let out a collective "awwww" and your brother would make some snide remark from behind the rope, as he didn't care too much to meet many of them. I will never forget the pure happiness that you exuded during and after your meetings, lucky that you were able to experience the magic at the perfect age. You even took your birthday breakfast with the princesses with a graceful and polite smile while we sang to you, and loved parading around the room behind the line of other small princesses, you being the tiniest of all.

I can't continue without mentioning your wit, which is pretty much a riot. Even through tears we can find a giggle and smile out of you any given time. You make up a story completely out of the blue with that massive imagination, or you twist the facts to make a silly story, all while breaking into a small smile before totally cracking up at yourself and what you've come up with. Daddy came home on Valentine's day with a dozen roses for me and a beautiful single rose with baby's breath for you. Later that same day when we had people over for a playdate, you told them all that the big bouquet was for you and the single was for me. Everyone gushed to you and you shot a knowing smile to me as you took it all in with an I win look in your eyes. See, whenever I hug Daddy you remind me that he is my husband, but he is YOUR Daddy!

Speaking of your Daddy, you still have him wrapped around your little finger, even when you pull bedtime stunts to get more time to stay up. The other night as he tucked you in, you hid your lambie under the covers and exclaimed Daddy! Where's Lambie? I can't fall asleep without him go find him! He swore lambie was in her bed already, as he had just retrieved her. You started smiling - I don't have her... I guess I can't go to sleep. When Daddy lifted up the covers you tried to re-hide her but the jig was up. I'm sure this won't be the last time you try to manipulate your father, or anyone for that matter. Just make sure you don't ever hurt anyone's feelings in the process, got it?

On the day you turned three, I waxed ecstatic about you on Facebook like I always do, saying you were imaginative and spunky, sassy and caring, beautiful and affectionate. I read what I wrote to you and you responded I'm not sassy, I'm the Little Lobster Roll. My only reply to that, which I hope you always remember, yes, you are my little lobster roll and you're one of a kind.

Happy 3rd Birthday little girl. I love you more than you will ever know.

Love,
Mommy (Not mother gothel!)

A style all my own... or stolen from Aurora

All I want to do is show everyone how I can lick my own nose!

StarStruck!

and one more with my home girl Anna

I even gave affection to all my friends! My brother only hugged a few...

Happy Birthday to MEEEE

Thanks Gobbles for the card and the gift!

Poozers helping me make cupcakes!

I love my mommy and daddy!

My two cousins!

More candles! Whoo hoo!

I'm a pro at this by now!

Yum!

Oh a shot of my silly brother!

A spot of tea, Chewy?

The mirror LOVES me!

And i just love apples!!

I was never a girly girl. Growing up, I preferred basketballs to barbie dolls, t-shirts to dresses, and function to beauty. When I got engaged I promptly created an elaborate budget spreadsheet and listed a month by month schedule of tasks, as opposed to other brides who would pull out magazine clippings and color inspirations. Sure, I've always had the emotions that make me 100% woman, but I've tended towards more stereotypically male-dominated activities - sports, math, heck even my career is 90% male.

When I found out I was pregnant with a girl, I figured I'd raise her on what I knew, and if she needed fashion, makeup, or trend advice, she had 3 more than capable aunts to take care of it. If it had been left solely up to me, the Lil Lobster Roll would have kicked it in her big brothers' hand me downs most of the time because, really, all babies do is poop and spit up, right? But then people began to buy pink. And pastel. And just overall ADORABLE things. And it sucked me in. I have never put as much effort into getting dressed as I have with my daughter. I'm having more fun than anyone should but I just love dressing her up in all the little girly girl outfits. To the point where I haven't even bought my poor son an Easter suit yet. I have fun dressing him up, but not like this.

I've even started putting a little more effort into myself. Not clothes yet as I'm still working on the baby weight, but I've worn earrings a number of times recently and have started accessorizing a little bit. Not a big accomplishment for most, but for someone who can count on one hand the number of times I've worn makeup, it's huge. (Though I will say makeup still scares me and I'll get there eventually, maybe 15 years from now when the lil lobster roll starts!). My little girl has inspired me - I want to be a Mommy who has shoes and dresses that she'll want to try on and play dress up.

This past Sunday was her baptism day, and as I dressed my baby girl in her beautiful dress purchased for her by her Godmother, I welled up. She looked so beautiful, and a moment flashed in my mind that someday I'd be helping her into a wedding dress. Then I got nervous thinking about her growing up, and how life gets so hard sometimes, and how all I wanted to do was protect her from everything in the world. My innocent pretty little girl, I just want her to be this sweet and protected forever. Now I'm starting to sound like an old-fashioned bitty, because I've never felt the need to shelter Gobbles in this way, but it's just different with a girl, and I finally understand it. Maybe because I am a girl and I know all of the social pressures to look and act a certain way, I just don't want the Lobster Roll to ever feel like she has to be anything other than herself. I'm thankful to have had a close-knit group of girls in my later teenage years that gave me the confidence for me to find myself, because prior to befriending them, I can definitely see my insecure middle school self heading down other, scarier paths.

I'm sure my Lil Lobster Roll will have all the confidence and female empowerment she needs, as all her Daddy and I do is tell her how pretty she is - I mean, really, we can't help it. She is just so pretty! And I know the blessing of having an older brother will keep her in line from becoming one of those girls, the ones that are all material, no substance. But I just hope I'm able to keep up with it all, that she'll be proud to be my daughter, and that she'll look up to me and want to be just like me. I'm ready learn how to be the best role model my daughter could want. I just need to round out my feminine side a little more. So next up... learning to walk in heels.