For my children. And yours.

Over the past two days I have been brought to tears on numerous occasions by sentiment and hope because history is in the making right now.  I'm taking a step outside the everyday goings-on in our household for just a moment and finding myself glued to the tv and internet to soak in all I can on the Supreme Court hearings regarding DOMA and California's Proposition 8.

It's hard to articulate just why I'm so interested. 

Personally, in my bubble right now, judgments either way would not affect my everyday life.  I am acquainted with a couple in my outer circle who, having been married just over a year and recently had a baby, would benefit immensely should these laws be deemed unconstitutional.  However, an outsider looking in on my world would ask Why do you care??

I'll tell you why.  Perhaps part of it is just being on the right side of history.  Perhaps it's as simple as the fact that I'm a human being, and was born with innate empathy.

Or, perhaps, it is for my children, my future, our whole country's future. 

Since they are just 3 and 1, I have no idea what my son's sexual preference is, nor my daughter's gender identity.  They could be straight, gay, bisexual, transgendered, whatever.  All I know is that I love them.  No matter what.  I couldn't imagine an scenario in which I would not love them with my whole heart and soul.  It pains me to read about people cast off from their loved ones because of who they are.  Because of who they LOVE.

And because I love my children, should they end up being what society deems "different", I believe they should be afforded the same benefits from marrying the person they love as I am afforded being married to their father. 

I don't want to delve too deeply into the whole religious aspect, but since I was raised Catholic and still try to identify myself as somewhat "faithful", I feel the need to comment.  I was sheltered.  For 12 years in Catholic school, surrounded by teachers hammering what they considered right and wrong into our heads about sex, marriage, and other things, the word gay developed a negative connotation to me.  I was an ignorant teenager pointing out when I didn't like something "Oh that's so gay" or snickering with my friends about the lesbian teacher or softball coach "Ew she must want us".  Looking back, I'm so ashamed to have acted that way, and embarrassed that I didn't know any better. 

As I have grown into my own now, I realize how ridiculous it is that a religion that calls for you to love others as you love yourself would encourage such hate, discrimination, and basically obstruct one's ability to express their love.  As Christians, "we" should not impede others' road to happiness just because "we" disagree, especially when there is no adverse effect on said Christians' lives if the happiness is achieved.  I don't see those of the Jewish faith demanding that all non-Kosher restaurants be shut down because it is against what the Torah teaches.  They simply choose not to eat there.  And Christians who believe gay marriage is against what the bible says can simply choose not to be married to a same-sex partner.  They shouldn't dictate what the rest of the population does. 

No matter what level of faith my children are raised on, I will teach them tolerance first.  They will love their friends for who they are and what kind of character they have.  I want them to treat others as they want to be treated, and hold their peers to a similar level.  I hope that they will choose a partner with similar values - real values such as kindness, loyalty, trust. 

I spent more time than I'd like to admit on Sunday watching MTV air retro episodes of the Real World, San Francisco.  I cannot believe it's been nearly 20 years since my freshman friends and I watched this, Pedro's struggle for gay rights.  Back then it was all so new to us, something seemingly unheard of before (again- sheltered).  Though some progress has been made, it seems awfully slow-going that if Pedro were to die today, his husband Sean would still not be afforded the spousal benefits he would deserve.  It's about time for a change.

Last year we attended a wedding for close friends of ours where my husband was a groomsman, and joyfully celebrated the love of this amazing couple.  They are one of those couples that are just overall sweeties and treat each with such love and respect that you can't help but be positive when you're around them.  To think that the generation before us fought for couples like this one, a black man and a white woman, to get married with no barriers gives me hope. 

Hope that my children will know nothing other than equality among both heterosexual and homosexual marriage.  Hope that our generation can achieve something positive for the history books.  And hope for simply freedom - freedom of love and marriage for all.