It's Gobbles Time!: Why I would be a terrible single mom. AKA when hubs is not around I am a parenting FAIL

I'm tired. I always knew when marrying an accountant that there would be some kind of "busy season" because really, that's just what they do. When hubs worked in public back in 2004 (and before he was hubs), I remember doing what I wanted after work - happy hour or the gym, then coming home to our empty apartment and thinking, man I'm bored. I found myself deeply enthralled with Season 3 of American Idol (you know, the one with Jennifer Hudson) and a contestant names Jon Paul Lewis. Why? I'm not really sure, but he was my replacement boyfriend for January thru April while hubs worked ungodly hours. That's the last time I remember being this frustrated with hubs' work, until now.

Not being in "public" since 2005, hubs doesn't have the April 15 tax deadline. Instead, he has quarterly closes and corporate deadlines. So I should expect about two weeks of terrible hours every February, May, August, November for quarterly as well as September and October for states and corps. Or something like that. We're now in March, and for some reason I'm still coming home with two kids, letting the dogs out, cooking dinner, bathing them, and putting them to bed all by myself (now I need to confess - I started this post last week. hubs has made it home for dinner the past two nights).

So yea, I'm tired. And now back to the point of this post- as each day wore on I was starting to lose my mind - I don't know how people do it. Last week, while cooking dinner, I set the kids up in the family room to play and watch TV then ran back to the stove to stir the pot of noodles that was cooking. Within two seconds I hear a crash followed by crying. I look over to see the Lobster Roll laying on the floor next to a tipped over chair. I scooped her up just to get blood all over myself from her bleeding tongue. After a few frantic phone calls, an ice pack, and some shushing and calming, I got her to settle and the blood to stop. But then of course she screamed as she tried to eat dinner because well, it hurt. Fail.

The other day, as I was putting the kids to bed, I felt an itch on my back and reached back to scratch. My hand returned with a deer tick, still alive and kind of pissed off looking that I'd pulled it off of it's new latch. I FREAKED out and flushed it down the toilet, then had to calm Gobbles into thinking it was nothing and that he should go to bed. See, every day when I get home and hubs isn't there, I open the garage and let the dogs out through there while I unload the kids (or, in the case of bad weather, I leave them in the running car in the driveway while I let the pups do their thing). Gobbles then heads into the yard to round up the puppies and I follow behind with the Lobster Roll in 1 arm trying to shoo the dogs back inside with the other. Nine times out of ten, our beloved Spoonsie bear, who ignores all instances of electric fence, is in the woods behind our yard, and I try to lure her out. All with the baby on my arm because though she is walking, she is not limber enough to walk across at the pace I'm chasing the dogs. Each night I curse myself for thinking we needed an acre of land without dogs of stellar obedience. (Even if we had a fence they still would never listen and come to the door!) I know that's where I picked up the tick, which very well could have landed on my baby girl. Fail.

Let's not even talk about the play doh that the Lobster's managed to slip while I'm trying to roll the perfect snake for Gobbles, or the time she drank the dog's water out of the bowl, or the smearing of spaghetti sauce in her hair because I asked her to point to her head while her hands elbow deep in dinner. Fail. Fail. Fail.

Ok, I know I'm exaggerating when I call these all failures, because really, I know I'm a good mom (if only the director at school hadn't been sitting RIGHT there when I sat the Lobster ON the table only for her to nose-dive off...). It is just so much easier when hubs is around - an extra set of hands to play with the kids while I let the dogs out- or even someone to just take the dogs out for me, an extra set of arms for hugs when both kids are in need- though I still maintain I have room in my arms for a third and the two do fit fine, an extra lap when it hurts me to have them sit in it from the bruised tailbone given to me when a 35lb three year old hopped in unexpectedly - another story completely. Most importantly, I need the emotional support hubs gives and the level-headedness he maintains when my voice starts to rise out of frustration. He's always there to dial me back, or hear me out, so that I don't express my impatience with the kids doing normal kid things.

I must say though that my after work Mommy and stay at home Mommy personas are much different. Since we pulled the kids out of school on Fridays and I've been home with them, I've filled our time with playdates and swim lessons and the three of us have found it quite enjoyable. Sure the kids miss their Daddy, as do I, but it's really at night, dinnertime and bedtime when we fall apart without him. So here's to things are looking up as busy season eases and the weather gets warmer, and my only looming issue is now when the heck to I clean the house?