sorting through the mess in my head

have you ever gotten to the point where there is so much going on you just want to close your eyes and have it all sorted out for you? it's been one of those years weeks. every time i feel like all my ducks are in a row another one marches in wait - don't forget about me!


i hate to just vent and whine and complain, but i'm so overwhelmed that i don't even know what to try and straighten out first. my emotions are everywhere because the genetic testing gobbles needs cannot be done until july. waiting is not my strong suit. waiting on something that could possibly affect the future of my family, planning, and just family planning feels like someone just opened up my brain, took all the files out, and threw them over a ledge. half of them are still getting caught up in wind gusts, having yet to flutter to the ground.

i guess i have a touch of ocd - because i don't have control over this one thing, every other aspect of my life feels unsettled. i've been sick for two weeks, the house is a disgusting mess, i haven't meticulously balanced the checkbook in awhile, the aforementioned sickness has forced me to stop training for a race i have in three weeks, work is just so ridiculous i can't even get starte on the demanding maniacs i report to, i've dragged my husband to numerous open houses in search of a new one, a fresh start, just more room to put all our crap- and at the same time complained that our house is in no condition to sell because it needs to be cleaned and touched up and fixed.

and all i've done is complain. i have not been proactive in any of these areas (save for a few cough drops) to try to better my situation or check something off the list that can be taken care of now.  i've become my own worst enemy.

instead i wait. first it was let's wait and see how gobble's glasses work out. guess what? they're perfect. he wears them and he loves them and he looks adorable.  so now from the outside it looks as all is resolved, but july is still months away, and as much as i want to i cannot put my life on hold until then...

i know i typically thrive on stress but this is just ridiculous.  stop, breathe, and realize that the ONLY thing that matters is that gobbles is happy.  the house will get clean, it just may take awhile; i'll run broad street, just a few (like twenty!) minutes slower than a few years ago; work will calm down, at least the crazies will move on to someone else to harass; and we have a cute house in a great neighborhood, who really needs a mudroom, right?
 
nothing matters besides happy baby, happy husband, happy mom = happy home...  a few spare hours added on to each day wouldn't hurt either.

rant over.  look at my beautiful little boy.  enough to melt away any problems, right?

momma's little professor