I'm not a fiction writer... nor a soap opera star...

...then WHY is my life full of so much DRAMA???

or does it just seem that way because every post i write seems to be the end of the world because i'm to busy to pop in on good days to write a witty anecdote of some cute thing gobbles did?  like tuesday, he threw a bowl at me while i was on the phone with an engineer because i stopped paying attention to him for 2 minutes during my multitasking-mom-work-from-home-with-a-sick-child day.  i ended up covered in chicken soup, gobbles clapping, and the engineer laughing on the other end of the line telling me he's been through it all before, he understands.

that moment, was not even close to the worst moment of the week.  not even close.

i promise i'll stay away from the heavy stuff as long as it promises to stay away from me... so hopefully the next post will be more about soup-throwing fun.  this one, however, is about my other baby.

gobbles' best friend cannoli. he'll be 5 on saturday.  and i'm thanking god that right now that it looks like we'll make it to then...

best buds... taken a few weeks ago

please note that my son went into the crate himself... i'm not that bad of a mom

so as usual, i'm way ahead of myself as i tend to get when i'm emotionally and physically exhausted.  this past weekend, despite mr. gobbles' rampant stomach bug (think enough puke to warrant two middle of the night crib sheet changes & baths, ending with him sleeping on my chest on the couch, giant tupperware bowl ready next to us), we decided to take a trip north to visit our in-laws.  the dogs typically accompany us but since it was going to be kinda hectic with a lot of running around we just decided to board them.  besides, they needed a bath. so off to our old trusted pal the hippie lady they went.

after a full weekend of things that should be discussed in a different post with a better mood, i woke up sunday morning to my phone ringing.  before i was even completely awake, the hippie lady was yammering in my ear about how it was her fault and her dog knocked the bottle off the counter and she's so sorry and she'll pay. and they're getting ready to go to the hospital... wait, what?  when she woke up in the morning cannoli wasn't moving and there was vomit all around him... and an empty advil bottle.  she couldn't tell me how much advil he ingested. just get him to the hospital, we're on our way.

hubs and i were in the car and speeding back in a fog before we knew it.  we decided to leave gobbles with hubs' dad and worry about coming back to get him later.  early on in the ride the hippie lady called to let us know they were at the hospital, but she didn't have a credit card they required to open a poison control case.  without question, i read her the numbers from the card as it trembled in my hand.  the miles on the pennsylvania turnpike seem endless and the slowass left lane drivers are annoying on a normal day. when the fate of a loved one is up in the air driving down that road on a bright sunny day in lighter than normal traffic is still pure torture.

then the phone rang again.  the doctor told us that cannoli was in a coma.  completely unresponsive.  they were flushing his system and testing him for liver and kidney function.  they couldn't give us a guess as to what they would find.  since we don't know how much he ingested, we don't know how much damage there is.  we've seen some dogs fight through this, but right now it doesn't look good....they asked me how far away we were because they needed to discuss how far we would take it. "Anything!" i sobbed, "we'll pay anything to save my baby..."

 

my husband is not an overtly emotional person.  i've seen him well up exactly twice in our eleven and a half years together, and both of these were times of joy.  his eyes glistened fondly as i marched up the aisle with a huge grin on my face the day we wed.  i watched a tear roll down his cheek as the doctor congratulated him on his new baby gobbles.  this sunday, for the first time, i saw my husband cry tears of fear, of sadness.  as i hung up the phone with the vet and told him to drive faster, he could read it in my eyes that something was wrong.  and he lost it. 

seeing hubs break down was hard, as he has always been a rock in situations like this.  i squeezed his hand and we drove the rest of the way in silence. 

when we arrived at the hospital we were brought into a room where the doctor again reiterated that they could not tell us anything we wanted to hear right, that we just need to wait.  they led us back to the ICU where alone in the corner under a pile of blankets laid my dog, hooked up to three different machines and trembling.  i ran over and dropped to my knees to kiss him, tell him i loved him, and stroke him behind his ears.  hubs followed close behind, whispering hey buddy, we're here.  we again sat in silence and shock that our little guy, who wags his nub at everything and is always licking someone's face just laid there limp. 

the nurse explained he had a heated blanket on to get his body temperature back up (normal for a dog is 101, he came in at 92), which would then help his blood pressure increase and allow them to run more fluids through his system.  she also told us that since we had another dog (our spoonsie bear!!!) that could have been exposed, it'd be in our best interest to keep her overnight for fluid flush and observation. 

hubs left to go retrieve spoons, and i made a few calls to let some people know what was going on.  and to ask for prayers.  i feel like a hypocrite asking sometimes since i haven't been to church in god knows how long, but i still do.  i've been doing that a lot lately it seems...

we stayed with our buddy for a few hours then the nurses told us to take a break while they did some procedures.  we ran home, cleaned up, and trekked back up the turnpike where my father-in-law graciously met us halfway to deliver Gobbles.  as we drove back we got a call from the nurse - cannoli opened his eyes!  she said to not get our hopes up because this can typically happen, in fact dogs can follow a three day path to recovery and go into renal failure at the end.  i tried not to get excited, but the news was like a single ray of light through a dark stormy sky... we became cautiously optimistic.

the positive outlook lasted as long as the car ride, because we walked through our front door and felt it again.  the worry, the panic.  this time, from a child's eyes.  Gobbles ran into the living room yelling go go GO!  -his instructions for the dogs to go eat.  he stopped suddenly and looked around.  then at Cannoli's crate, then at me, big question marks in his eyes. Gogs?? he asked, almost frantically.  i scooped him up and gave him a tight hug.  "they'll be home soon, honey", silently willing myself to believe my own words.

guess i'll just practice with an empty leash..

we made arrangements for my mom to come watch Gobbles for a bit while we went back up to visit our puppy.  he was awake, but still lethargic and eyes glazed over, not really recognizing us.  the next few days with each visit - a morning and a night, our old pal cannoli slowly emerged from behind the battered body, now shaved in weird places and riddled with holes from IVs and blood tests.  i knew he was back when, after a rough day at work and a visit that brought me back to sane, i said goodnight and he pranced back to the ICU with the nurse, knocking his catheter out and spilling pee all over the floor, wagging his butt nonchalantly as if that's what's supposed to happen.  that's my boy. 

spoons of course checked out fine and was able to come home after 24 hours.  gobbles was thrilled to see one of his puppies happy and well.



c'mere you

finally... after four harrowing days... they discharged my little fighter.  i am amazed and relieved and grateful and thrilled that though all dogs go to heaven, heaven's going to have to wait for my buddy cannoli.  as the doctor read the discharge papers to me last night, dog arrived comatose, her words echoed in my mind and i flashed back to his cold, shuddering little body from sunday.  i was filled with emotion thinking about how he doesn't even know what he's been through, what we've been through, he's just ready to get back to life.

we've got some work ahead of us - followup appointments, enough meds to open a pharmacy, and finding a new trustworthy boarder, but our little family is ready to handle it together, day by day...


momma's tough guy

but somehow he's the same ol' dog!

the next week of our lives - hour by hour...