For my children. And yours.

Over the past two days I have been brought to tears on numerous occasions by sentiment and hope because history is in the making right now.  I'm taking a step outside the everyday goings-on in our household for just a moment and finding myself glued to the tv and internet to soak in all I can on the Supreme Court hearings regarding DOMA and California's Proposition 8.

It's hard to articulate just why I'm so interested. 

Personally, in my bubble right now, judgments either way would not affect my everyday life.  I am acquainted with a couple in my outer circle who, having been married just over a year and recently had a baby, would benefit immensely should these laws be deemed unconstitutional.  However, an outsider looking in on my world would ask Why do you care??

I'll tell you why.  Perhaps part of it is just being on the right side of history.  Perhaps it's as simple as the fact that I'm a human being, and was born with innate empathy.

Or, perhaps, it is for my children, my future, our whole country's future. 

Since they are just 3 and 1, I have no idea what my son's sexual preference is, nor my daughter's gender identity.  They could be straight, gay, bisexual, transgendered, whatever.  All I know is that I love them.  No matter what.  I couldn't imagine an scenario in which I would not love them with my whole heart and soul.  It pains me to read about people cast off from their loved ones because of who they are.  Because of who they LOVE.

And because I love my children, should they end up being what society deems "different", I believe they should be afforded the same benefits from marrying the person they love as I am afforded being married to their father. 

I don't want to delve too deeply into the whole religious aspect, but since I was raised Catholic and still try to identify myself as somewhat "faithful", I feel the need to comment.  I was sheltered.  For 12 years in Catholic school, surrounded by teachers hammering what they considered right and wrong into our heads about sex, marriage, and other things, the word gay developed a negative connotation to me.  I was an ignorant teenager pointing out when I didn't like something "Oh that's so gay" or snickering with my friends about the lesbian teacher or softball coach "Ew she must want us".  Looking back, I'm so ashamed to have acted that way, and embarrassed that I didn't know any better. 

As I have grown into my own now, I realize how ridiculous it is that a religion that calls for you to love others as you love yourself would encourage such hate, discrimination, and basically obstruct one's ability to express their love.  As Christians, "we" should not impede others' road to happiness just because "we" disagree, especially when there is no adverse effect on said Christians' lives if the happiness is achieved.  I don't see those of the Jewish faith demanding that all non-Kosher restaurants be shut down because it is against what the Torah teaches.  They simply choose not to eat there.  And Christians who believe gay marriage is against what the bible says can simply choose not to be married to a same-sex partner.  They shouldn't dictate what the rest of the population does. 

No matter what level of faith my children are raised on, I will teach them tolerance first.  They will love their friends for who they are and what kind of character they have.  I want them to treat others as they want to be treated, and hold their peers to a similar level.  I hope that they will choose a partner with similar values - real values such as kindness, loyalty, trust. 

I spent more time than I'd like to admit on Sunday watching MTV air retro episodes of the Real World, San Francisco.  I cannot believe it's been nearly 20 years since my freshman friends and I watched this, Pedro's struggle for gay rights.  Back then it was all so new to us, something seemingly unheard of before (again- sheltered).  Though some progress has been made, it seems awfully slow-going that if Pedro were to die today, his husband Sean would still not be afforded the spousal benefits he would deserve.  It's about time for a change.

Last year we attended a wedding for close friends of ours where my husband was a groomsman, and joyfully celebrated the love of this amazing couple.  They are one of those couples that are just overall sweeties and treat each with such love and respect that you can't help but be positive when you're around them.  To think that the generation before us fought for couples like this one, a black man and a white woman, to get married with no barriers gives me hope. 

Hope that my children will know nothing other than equality among both heterosexual and homosexual marriage.  Hope that our generation can achieve something positive for the history books.  And hope for simply freedom - freedom of love and marriage for all. 

Catching up with Gobbles

Over the last few months, every time Gobbles said something that made me laugh I'd try desperately to remember it and email it to myself later on.  Probably 75% of his quotes have been lost out the window of my brain, trying to help him hunt for the latest show n tell item or explain that responsibility is not a tangible thing.

But, I did manage to find a few that I may as well throw out there lest they be forever hidden away in my email.  Let me note that I am ashamed at my son's use of the word like which apparently is, like, every other word out of my mouth and my little buddy picked up on it.  Whoops.

- Each week, Gobbles's class reviews learns about a letter, how to identify it, the sounds it makes, etc.  During T week, apparently he was on the same page as his teacher:
Mommy, Miss J told me that our brains were stuck together when we found our list of T words.  How silly!

- Apparently that same week:
No, I can't bring my little tow truck for show and tell because it's too small for my friends to play with.  I suppose a little of his lil lobster roll / toy sharing paranoia came out here.

- After spending a weekend at my mom's, Gobbles came back singing Skinna Marinky Dinky Dink, but one thing really irked me, especially since my mom is a first grade teacher - she taught him the wrong words!  A minor sound variation, really- Gobbles was singing Skinna Marink-A Dink-A-Dink instead of Skinna Marink-EE Dink-EE-Dink.  The reason it bugged me was because when I tried to sing it to him the right way, he got all indignant: NO Mommy!  Skinna Marinky Dinky Dink is wrong.  I asked why it was wrong, and frustrated, he responds:  Because, it just doesn't make any sense!  We had an argument about how his way could make sense any more than my way, but of course arguing with a 3 year old can only get you so far.  I think over time though, I may have convinced him of the right way (my way, haha) of saying it. 

- This conversation happened on a random ride home from school one day:
Gobbles: Mommy, Where do dinosaurs live?
Me: They're not around anymore buddy, they're extinct.
Gobbles: Not around anymore?
Me: No, there was an ice age and they ran out of food (am I even right? i have no idea? An asteroid maybe?)
Gobbles: Ran out of food? Why didn't they just go to the grocery store to buy more?

- Another way home from school one:

I just, like, fired my friends, because they didn't wash their hands.

 

- Just about every night during dinner, when he wants more of the good thing, but is SO done with whatever he doesn't want:
Gobbles:  (looking up with a huge pout and trying to force tears out of his eyes): But I'm really REALLY hungry!
Hubs or I:  Well then eat your veggies.
Gobbles (matter-of-factly):  I'm still hungry BESIDES my veggies!

And, of course, we have the quirkiest of quirky, some fun pics of my special little guy:

Deep thoughts, with Gobbles... (Notice the planet puzzle footrest)

Deep thoughts, with Gobbles AND Spoons!

Silly Guy!

The obsession with planets continues...

..and continues...

...and continues... I won't post the other 9 pictures.  You get the point!

Inventive and stylish (christmas pj's in March? Noooo Problem!)

Big guy with no worries at the barbershop. 

Obligatory selfie with my sister!

Look mom- a Toothbrush.  So I guess he's obsessed with hygiene too?

Deep thoughts with gobbles... and the Lobster Roll.

Always willing to help out with a science-like experiment that will allow my momma 26-32 weeks of weeknight wine.

Just a few months ago I was scared of both vacuums and footie pajamas, now look at me!

Old Phone Video Purge: Part 2

So when I edited down the series, I originally was going to one video from every quarter - basically how the first post went.  I started to get lazy and now it appears all lopsided since the first 9 months have 4 videos and the next 15 have 16 videos.   Oh well, shouldn't we consider it better that I have more after the birth of the 2nd child?  I think I was just getting better with technology.

January 23, 2012 - the lobster roll is about 36 hours old and I'm hopped up on Perkacets.  But it was a nice family moment that I didn't even remember having on my phone.  I love hearing his sweet voice pronounce her name:

The first book that Gobbles memorized was 101 Dalmations.  I'm not sure when exactly he began reading it to us nightly, but I managed to sneak a video in March of 2012, when he was 2 years, 3 months.  Funny at the time we knew exactly what he was saying, but I feel like this video requires subtitles because he kind of ran his words together.  My favorite thing about this video is the angry growling voice he gets when he talks about Cruella De Ville.

Pongo and Perdita lived in London with their people pets, Roger and Anita.  When Perdita and Pongo became the parents of 15 puppies, they were SO proud.  Life seemed perfect until an old friend of Anita's, Cruella De Ville, came to see the puppies.  Cruella WALTZED into the room deMANDing to see the ADORAble puppies and their BEAUTIFUL coats.  She even proclaimed she would by them all.  We're not selling the puppies said Roger, not a single one.  You fools Cruella cried, you'll be SOOOOORRY and stormed out of the house.... the Badun Brothers kidnapped the puppies; the police launched an investigation but the puppies were still not found... Pongo & Perdita decided it was all up to them and Pongo decided to try the twilight bark.... bark bark howl....

The Lobster Roll with her sweet coos 12 weeks old (4.20.12)

Gobbles and I both trying to get the Lobster to roll over at 4 months.

Why I would be a terrible single mom. AKA when hubs is not around I am a parenting FAIL

I'm tired.  I always knew when marrying an accountant that there would be some kind of "busy season" because really, that's just what they do.  When hubs worked in public back in 2004 (and before he was hubs), I remember doing what I wanted after work - happy hour or the gym, then coming home to our empty apartment and thinking, man I'm bored.  I found myself deeply enthralled with Season 3 of American Idol (you know, the one with Jennifer Hudson) and a contestant names Jon Paul Lewis.  Why?  I'm not really sure, but he was my replacement boyfriend for January thru April while hubs worked ungodly hours.  That's the last time I remember being this frustrated with hubs' work, until now.

Not being in "public" since 2005, hubs doesn't have the April 15 tax deadline.  Instead, he has quarterly closes and corporate deadlines.  So I should expect about two weeks of terrible hours every February, May, August, November for quarterly as well as September and October for states and corps.  Or something like that.  We're now in March, and for some reason I'm still coming home with two kids, letting the dogs out, cooking dinner, bathing them, and putting them to bed all by myself (now I need to confess - I started this post last week.  hubs has made it home for dinner the past two nights).

So yea, I'm tired.  And now back to the point of this post- as each day wore on I was starting to lose my mind - I don't know how people do it.  Last week, while cooking dinner, I set the kids up in the family room to play and watch TV then ran back to the stove to stir the pot of noodles that was cooking.  Within two seconds I hear a crash followed by crying.  I look over to see the Lobster Roll laying on the floor next to a tipped over chair.  I scooped her up just to get blood all over myself from her bleeding tongue.  After a few frantic phone calls, an ice pack, and some shushing and calming, I got her to settle and the blood to stop.  But then of course she screamed as she tried to eat dinner because well, it hurt.  Fail.

The other day, as I was putting the kids to bed, I felt an itch on my back and reached back to scratch.  My hand returned with a deer tick, still alive and kind of pissed off looking that I'd pulled it off of it's new latch.  I FREAKED out and flushed it down the toilet, then had to calm Gobbles into thinking it was nothing and that he should go to bed.  See, every day when I get home and hubs isn't there, I open the garage and let the dogs out through there while I unload the kids (or, in the case of bad weather, I leave them in the running car in the driveway while I let the pups do their thing).  Gobbles then heads into the yard to round up the puppies and I follow behind with the Lobster Roll in 1 arm trying to shoo the dogs back inside with the other.  Nine times out of ten, our beloved Spoonsie bear, who ignores all instances of electric fence, is in the woods behind our yard, and I try to lure her out.  All with the baby on my arm because though she is walking, she is not limber enough to walk across at the pace I'm chasing the dogs.  Each night I curse myself for thinking we needed an acre of land without dogs of stellar obedience. (Even if we had a fence they still would never listen and come to the door!) I know that's where I picked up the tick, which very well could have landed on my baby girl.  Fail.

Let's not even talk about the play doh that the Lobster's managed to slip while I'm trying to roll the perfect snake for Gobbles, or the time she drank the dog's water out of the bowl, or the smearing of spaghetti sauce in her hair because I asked her to point to her head while her hands elbow deep in dinner.  Fail. Fail. Fail.

Ok, I know I'm exaggerating when I call these all failures, because really, I know I'm a good mom (if only the director at school hadn't been sitting RIGHT there when I sat the Lobster ON the table only for her to nose-dive off...).  It is just so much easier when hubs is around - an extra set of hands to play with the kids while I let the dogs out- or even someone to just take the dogs out for me, an extra set of arms for hugs when both kids are in need- though I still maintain I have room in my arms for a third and the two do fit fine, an extra lap when it hurts me to have them sit in it from the bruised tailbone given to me when a 35lb three year old hopped in unexpectedly - another story completely.  Most importantly, I need the emotional support hubs gives and the level-headedness he maintains when my voice starts to rise out of frustration.  He's always there to dial me back, or hear me out, so that I don't express my impatience with the kids doing normal kid things.

I must say though that my after work Mommy and stay at home Mommy personas are much different.  Since we pulled the kids out of school on Fridays and I've been home with them, I've filled our time with playdates and swim lessons and the three of us have found it quite enjoyable.  Sure the kids miss their Daddy, as do I, but it's really at night, dinnertime and bedtime when we fall apart without him.  So here's to things are looking up as busy season eases and the weather gets warmer, and my only looming issue is now when the heck to I clean the house?

Yep, who knew how much blood could come from one little cut?

A freeze pop will ease the pain...

Of course, we don't want to forget our regular dinner too, I'll just keep numbing my mouth until I eat enough for you mommy!

Seriously?  Now you're letting me sit up in this chair the wrong way?

I know, brushing my teeth will SURELY make my tongue feel better... not.

Back to the scene of the crime. 

Yea, this is probably how the fall happened in the first place. 

Oh don't worry mom, i hear doggies' mouths are clean...

Watch out for that Gobbles behind you!

Like I said, clean?  No worries that my thumb will go right back in my mouth...

Ok, one dog licking a child, another child body slamming the other dog.  All while mommy just throws up her hands and pulls out her camera.

Well looks like we're all ok....

If four are brave enough to stroll out in broad daylight, how many tick-carrying bambis are back there?

Oh, it's ok, just let the dog sleep on the clean laundry after running around the yard.

Don't worry mom!  When all else fails just give us a box of animal crackers which we can finish in under 3 minutes flat!

Old Phone Video Purge - Part 1

I recently upgraded my phone, and in the transfer from my old to new I relished in the 2 years' worth of videos that would probably go into a folder on my computer and not be viewed again for quite some time.  So, I picked a few favorites end ended up with 20.  But trust me, it took me 4 hours to wade through them so this really is narrowed down.  And what the heck it gives me blog fodder for a few posts, even though I still have a backlog of unfinished drafts, so I'll probably spread the series out a bit.

Gobbles & his happy cheerio dance.  After he was finished his own breakfast he'd always go after hubs' cheerios.  He is 16 months in this video (4.5.11), he's had his glasses for less than a week:

 

 

4th of July 2011, just about 19 months.  This is one of my most favorite Gobbles videos ever!

 

October 25, 2011 - a random sick day with Gobbles home for some reason, just having a lunchtime conversation with Mommy.

 

 

Just before Christmas 2011.  Gobbles was newly two and enjoying Christmas carols with his dog.