On Having a Daugher

I was never a girly girl.  Growing up, I preferred basketballs to barbie dolls, t-shirts to dresses, and function to beauty.  When I got engaged I promptly created an elaborate budget spreadsheet and listed a month by month schedule of tasks, as opposed to other brides who would pull out magazine clippings and color inspirations.  Sure, I've always had the emotions that make me 100% woman, but I've tended towards more stereotypically male-dominated activities - sports, math, heck even my career is 90% male. 

When I found out I was pregnant with a girl, I figured I'd raise her on what I knew, and if she needed fashion, makeup, or trend advice, she had 3 more than capable aunts to take care of it.  If it had been left solely up to me,  the Lil Lobster Roll would have kicked it in her big brothers' hand me downs most of the time because, really, all babies do is poop and spit up, right?   But then people began to buy pink. And pastel. And just overall ADORABLE things.  And it sucked me in.  I have never put as much effort into getting dressed as I have with my daughter.  I'm having more fun than anyone should but I just love dressing her up in all the little girly girl outfits.  To the point where I haven't even bought my poor son an Easter suit yet.  I have fun dressing him up, but not like this. 

I've even started putting a little more effort into myself.  Not clothes yet as I'm still working on the baby weight, but I've worn earrings a number of times recently and have started accessorizing a little bit.  Not a big accomplishment for most, but for someone who can count on one hand the number of times I've worn makeup, it's huge.  (Though I will say makeup still scares me and I'll get there eventually, maybe 15 years from now when the lil lobster roll starts!).  My little girl has inspired me - I want to be a Mommy who has shoes and dresses that she'll want to try on and play dress up.

This past Sunday was her baptism day, and as I dressed my baby girl in her beautiful dress purchased for her by her Godmother, I welled up.  She looked so beautiful, and a moment flashed in my mind that someday I'd be helping her into a wedding dress.  Then I got nervous thinking about her growing up, and how life gets so hard sometimes, and how all I wanted to do was protect her from everything in the world.  My innocent pretty little girl, I just want her to be this sweet and protected forever.  Now I'm starting to sound like an old-fashioned bitty, because I've never felt the need to shelter Gobbles in this way, but it's just different with a girl, and I finally understand it.  Maybe because I am a girl and I know all of the social pressures to look and act a certain way, I just don't want the Lobster Roll to ever feel like she has to be anything other than herself.  I'm thankful to have had a close-knit group of girls in my later teenage years that gave me the confidence for me to find myself, because prior to befriending them, I can definitely see my insecure middle school self heading down other, scarier paths.

I'm sure my Lil Lobster Roll will have all the confidence and female empowerment she needs, as all her Daddy and I do is tell her how pretty she is - I mean, really, we can't help it.  She is just so pretty!  And I know the blessing of having an older brother will keep her in line from becoming one of those girls, the ones that are all material, no substance.  But I just hope I'm able to keep up with it all, that she'll be proud to be my daughter, and that she'll look up to me and want to be just like me.  I'm ready learn how to be the best role model my daughter could want.  I just need to round out my feminine side a little more.  So next up... learning to walk in heels.

Mommy's little Angel!

Thanks Mommy!  I trust you!

You picked out my headband, that's a start!

I feel just like a Disney Princess

I'm glad you stuck with the headband... this thing makes me feel like I should be churning butter...

You did ok dressing me up to meet the easter bunny...

Too bad we never made it because Gobbles got scared....

See Mommy, I'm happy chilling in a tshirt too!

And I'm just being my silly self!

And I don't even mind you put me in Gobble's old jeans!

As long as I got my rockstae Minnie, I couldn't be cuter, right?

You've served me well dear pacifier, but it's time to say goodbye.

When Gobbles was a baby, there was nothing we could do to get a good nights' sleep.  Ok, even when he was a toddler, same thing.  So far his sister is proving a better sleeper, and we hope that continues.  One of the things that actually helped get him to sleep was his pacifier.  Who knew a little piece of plastic and rubber could mean so much to a kid?  We used it to soothe him from being fussy early in life, but somewhere around a year or so, we designated it to be a "crib only" object - he could have it for sleeping and very necessary times (like when he was sick), but that was it.  At his two year doctor visit, the pediatrician told us that it was ok to continue the paci use in this fashion until he's more settled with the baby coming and a possible move.

Two weeks ago Gobbles' teacher informed us that he had been napping without his school pacifier for a few weeks.  I think she is getting him ready to make the transition to preschool which will happen sometime in the next 2-3 months.  We decided to go along with what she was doing because we knew it had to happen sometime....

So, 10 days ago, on a Sunday night, after prepping Gobbles all weekend that the paci was going byebye, we bid farewell.  We did his bedtime routine and read his stories, and when he asked for the paci we told him, sorry, but it's gone.  It didn't go so well.  My poor baby cried and cried and I tried to soothe him, but the more I soothed him the more angry he got, and between sobs he just kept asking for his paci.  Finally, hubs stepped in, since I was starting to get upset myself.  I left Gobbles' room to tend to the Lobster Roll and the crying stopped, but hubs did not emerge.  Tired myself, I put the little girl to bed and settled in myself.  When I got up a few hours later to feed the baby, hubs was still in Gobbles room.  I quietly entered to find him snoring on the floor.  So we replaced the pacifier with good old fashioned laying in his room until he falls asleep?  Not quite the effect we were looking for.  Night 1 fail.

The next night went miraculously a lot better.  A few wimpers and extra cries at bedtime, but Gobbles went to sleep on his own, with each night getting progressively better.  There were still middle of the night calls, but this time we didn't have to do a hands and knees blind search around the room for the paci, just gave Gobbles a sip of water and off he went back to dream street.

Cut to Friday, the first day Gobbles was home with me last week (we had showings all week and a baptism party to prep for, so he was at school a lot), and we come to nap time.  Like usual, when I proposed a nap he willingly went up, but then as I was leaving the room he inquired about the paci.  I informed him that we don't use it anymore, remember?  And the tantrum began.  I told him it's ok if he didn't nap but he had to stay in his room and play quietly.  After about 20 minutes of screaming I went in to check on him where he said ok, he was ready to nap, just wanted to hug the dog and go to sleep.  I called Spoons in and she hopped into Gobbles bed.  I offered for her to stay there with him while he napped and he agreed.  I left the room and within a few minutes I heard a smack smack smack on the monitor.  Gobbles was actually hitting the dog, his most beloved family member ever.  I burst into the room and screamed Gobbles!  We do NOT hit the dog!  and the poor pup bolted past me to escape her aggressor.  The tantrums begun again and I realized that there would be no nap for the day.  We calmed ourselves down and made our way back downstairs for a quiet afternoon.

That evening of course he went to bed fine, but the next day's nap was even more laughable.  With hubs home and a pending 3:15 showing we knew we had to get him down early if we wanted any hope.  We put Gobbles up and this time there was no tantrum, but he happily played by himself in his room.  Every half hour or so hubs went up and gently reminded Gobbles that he should be napping.  Finally, around 2:00, it appeared Gobbles would nap, as he threw his pillow back on his bed (he had been laying on his floor reading books) and started to lay down.  But then in his deliriously overtired state he started playing once more, so there was nothing else I could do but take a video of his jibberish.  Finally, 15 minutes before he had to be woken up and dragged out of the house for the showing, Gobbles fell asleep peacefully.  Of course when I tried to transport him from the bed to the car he woke up (the reverse usually works just fine), but at least I know he got himself down.

Sunday with the Lobstah's baptism (another post altogether), Gobbles skipped a nap again, so by night he was exhausted and went to bed at 6:30.  I'm hoping to try again this weekend and get him back in a napping routine since he can do it at school without the pacifier.  But in the meantime, at night he has not asked for it, and save for 1 night this week when he woke up screaming for me to sleep in his bed (we think it was a nightmare and were able to calm him after 15 minutes), he's been a star sleeper without it.  And I'm trying to find other ways to put the Lil Lobster Roll to sleep so that she doesn't get addicted to this powerful little trinket, because I definitely do not want to go through paci goodbye again!

In the meantime - Gobbles 90 minutes in to "trying" to go down for a nap...

2 Months!

This was written on my phone while feeding my baby at 4 this morning.  Multitasking is the only way to get anything done these days!

 Dear Lil Lobster roll,

Two months! We have made it to the point where we know each other inside and out, I know what each pitch of your piercing cry calls for... Actually your cry is rare, only using it when you are beyond starving or a little more gassy than you can handle. Otherwise it's all coos and smiles from you little girl.

You are an amazing sleeper, already giving me a few nights of 8 hours straight, and tonight you even put yourself to sleep. That's right, I swaddled you up and laid you in the crib so I could deal with your brother (he had lost his "Jessie" dog in his sheets) and you were so quiet in your crib I decided to leave you there and see what you'd do. You cooed to yourself for a few minutes, turned your head back and forth, and within 10 minutes you were out cold. Of course I'm speaking too soon but I feel you're the break we deserve after dealing with years' worth of sleepless nights with gobbles.

You have such a little spunky personality already baby, rolling with the punches, which may include sloppy puppy kisses, extra playmate time, or being toted around in a sling or stroller, all while watching the adventures of your older brother.

You are growing like a champ too... I wish we didn't have such a big box of size 1 diapers as you could probably be in 2s. And your 0-3 clothing is slowly becoming a memory. 11 lbs 14 oz, up from 10 lb 1 oz at your 1 month. And 23" long already, you are growing way too quickly.

We have just over a month until I go back to work and of course our time together has gone way too fast. I am so grateful to have spent so much Mamma-Lobstah time with you because I feel like we've created our own special bond, just you and me, which will last a lifetime. Every morning when I place you in the changing table and we pick out your outfit, your uncontrollable smiles lights up the room. You stick your little tongue out and curl it up and we crack up together. I know as you get older we'll probably argue a lot as all mommies and daughters do, but I hope no matter what we remain this close forever. I love you so much little girl.

Love,
Momma

Seriously Mommy?  Is this the beginning of embarrasing outfits for the rest of my life?

Happiest girl in the land

Enough tummy time Mommy - I'm relaxin'

I'm 25% Irish and proud of it!  I'm sure I'll have a taste for Guinness in just like my momma... in 21 years :) 

These Days

The weather the past two weeks has been absolutely gorgeous.  We've taken full advantage of it by spending so much time outside.  Mostly by choice, others by taking looong walks with the puppies because we've gotten the boot for showings.  C'mon people, it's buying season, put in an offer already so I can start packing!

Last week we broke out the big wheel (the kind that I can push from behind) and Gobbles rode up and down the street while I carried the Lil Lobster Roll in the sling.  He's gotten down the steering part (it really helps that he's recently learned right and left, so I can direct him), but is still kind of lazy with the pedaling.  I say lazy because he understands the concept, but insists I push him when we go up the street, and just lifts his legs up and lets himself fly going down.  Don't go into the street, Mommy!  Thanks for the advice buds!  Another thing my son loves to do - bark out orders as though he's in charge after having received those orders himself.  His teachers at school have pointed this out also, that when he is told to do something he immediately turns around and gives another kid the same directions.  A micromanager in the making?  I hope not, I hate micromanagers, but alas I'm sure he's inherited my control freak gene.

We also love our share of people watching and socializing with the rest of the kids on the street.  Gobbles tells me about every person that walks by - Oh he's running!  Oh they're laughing!  Look Mommy, he's talkin on the phone!  There are so many kids on the street and they're always out playing.  We walked up to the lemonade stand a few of the girls were having while the boys were playing wiffle ball in the street.  Gobbles has taken a liking to one of the kids on the street, Ryan, and ever since, any boy between the ages of 6 and 10 is named Ryan.  While we were getting lemonade and the little girls were cooing over the Lobstah, Gobbles starts nudging my leg - Look Mommy!  Ryan's running  - No Gobbles, that's Aidan - Look Mommy!  Ryan's hitting the ball! - No Gobbles, that's Cathel - Oh Mommy! Ryan's Dog is barking! - No Gobbles, that's Liam's dog.... And yes, as I was saying this I caught on to the ridiculous Irish-ness of my street. 

I keep trying to encourage Gobbles to play with his wiffle ball set, or his basketball net, or kick his soccer ball, but the response is typically the same.  Color with chalk?  Push the lawn mower?  Read Books?   It's ok though, as I said to his pal Lil Buddy's mom back on our last playdate - Gobbles might be in the band instead of playing sports, and that is ok too!

Speaking of the recent playdate, it was so much fun because I think it's the first playdate where Gobbles and Lil Buddy actually interacted with each other.  Sure Gobbles played play-doh and Lil Buddy was shooting hoops, but when it came time for lunchtime they sat down at their table and actually chatted up with each other.  While the moms were getting our own lunches together, hubs sat in the living room and caught snippets of the conversation:

Gobbles: I hava cream cheese and jelly and YOU hava cream cheese and jelly sandwich.
Lil Buddy:  And I eating cheese...
Gobbles:  I have some your chips please?
Lil Buddy:  Oh!  And the letter K!  (A sticker randomly stuck to a notepad, and yes, it was the letter K).
Gobbles:  I have a magnadoodle.

Sure, they each seemed to be having their own conversation with themselves, kind of like their mommas when we drink too much together, but they were interacting, it was so cute. 

And speaking of drinking too much, yes, my boy made up a song about mommy having some wine on a Saturday night.  The lyrics are simple, but he made it up on the spot which made for a buzzed momma to nearly spit out said wine in hysterical laughter.  Da Boozin' Da Boozin Ahh, Da Boozin, Da Boozin Ahh-Ahh.

Meanwhile, the Lil Lobster roll has just been taking it all in and finding her voice in this crazy household.  At her one month appointment way back 3 weeks ago, she weighed in at 10 lbs, 1 oz and 22" long.  And I can guarantee the 2 month appointment will bring an even heavier growth, since she is looking like such a little porker these days (and the 6 week growth spurt nearly broke me - hourly feedings for 2 days straight!).  Nearly out of size 1 diapers and working her way through her 3 month clothing, this girl's not letting anything hold her back!

My little girl started smiling at my silly voice around 6 weeks and is digging her tummy time throwing her head back and forth.  She is such a wiggly worm it's tough to leave her anywhere already for fear that she is going to roll, a few months earlier than her brother who was content just to chill and look at the ceiling fan.  The carseat is not her friend, and she'll let you know with a hi pitched wail, probably very similar to the sound she'd make if she were really hurt - the Lobster Roll wants what she wants when she wants it, and no pacifier plug can stop her from telling you!

Well the kids are BOTH going on hour FOUR of a fantastic Friday afternoon nap, so I should probably wake them, at least the little one for feeding, come back and finish this tonight with a photo dump!  At least now I feel somewhat caught up in spilling little memories from the past few weeks.  I'm sure I missed some, but hopefully I can blog again sooner with less hiatus this time.  This little girl is growing too fast!

Oh! Spoonsie the bear came to pick me up from school!  There must be a showing!

Multitasking at the playground

I could slide all day!

Smiling for the first time!

Now I'll flash my gang signs!

After expressing myself so much i'm sleepy.

My vest is the coolest!  For when it's "not THAT cold"

My brother uses me as a canvas for all of his sticker creativity

A little half smile for you... or is this a dirty look?

Don't tell my brother I stole his puppy!

Don't tell my sister I like my puppy better!

A lazy day outside... Just keeping my puppy from running away!

Why do my parents insist on sticking me in this ridiculous pile of balls?

AHHH!  Don't get me Gobbles!

I want to use my hopper so badly but I'm just not big enough yet!

Finally! Mommy used a real camera to capture my baby blues!

Helping momma work off the weight I put on her!

Gobbles rendition of a Pear.  My boy's got talent!

We really do love each other mommy!!

Suprise!  Bonus pic taken today... the tail end of the epic 4 hour nap! 

Mother of Two

Friday, March 2

So last post I let it all out, all of the struggles I was feeling being a mommy of two (with many other stress contributing factors).  Today, it's all about the joy.  The joy of my adorable kids and their interaction with each other.  Quite fitting that I'm writing today for two reasons.  One - it's Dr. Seuss's birthday, and two - it was picture day at Gobbles' school.  They always do both individual pictures and sibling shots, so I asked if it was ok that I bring up the Lil Lobster Roll, even though she's not technically enrolled yet.  Those pics will come soon...

Gobbles has been pretty accepting and even helpful with his sister, as long as we don't push too hard.  Sure, he's asked to put her on the floor on more than one occasion and will try everything to change the subject of conversation if we're gushing about her for too long, but overall he's a wonderful big brother. 

He has helped give the Lobstah baths, throw out diapers, and most importantly grab burp clothes for me when I'm nursing.  Mommy feeds the baby from her belly.  Good Burp, Lobstah.  Mommy you use the milk machine to make bottles.

**At this point in writing I was interrupted by a request for showing with less than an hours' notice.  Then the chaos of the weekend ensued.  Etc.  Now it's Wednesday, March 7**

Monday night the living room got a little too quiet while I was making dinner.  I had left the baby on her playmat and Gobbles was playing, so I put down what I was doing to peek in and check on things.  Before I could round the corner I hear Mommy I hold Lobstah's haaaannnd?  (Whenever Gobbles asks a question his last word is always drawn out).  There I witnessed my two kids in a peaceful moment.  The first time Gobbles initiated contact on his own.  He was holding her hand and examining her tiny fingers.  I laid down on the floor next to them and said, "See how small her hand is?  Go ahead, give her a kiss".  Of course I overstepped my bounds and Gobbles dropped her hand and got up to go play with a balloon.

Of course the peace won't be there every day... last night as I was burping the Lil Lobster Roll, Gobbles was playing with a ball, bouncing it around the living room.  Out of nowhere - whoosh, bonk! - the ball bounced squarely off the side of my baby's head.  Now, this ball was soft enough that it didn't do any damage, but it definitely shocked the poor child.  Hubs and I both jumped into discipline mode and Gobbles got time out until he was able to muster an apology and a hug / kiss for his sister.  I have a feeling this won't be the last time he's going to get a lecture about how he treats her....

The house is crazy these days, filled with energy and joy and chaos and tears and tantrums and dirty diapers.  I know one of my best memories of this crazy time will be of a brotherly moment that occurred this sunday - I well up with pride whenever I think of it.  We were driving and Lil Lobster Roll was wailing in her carseat.  I looked in the rearview and said to Gobbles, "Can you sing a song to make your sister feel better?".  His little voice piped up Mommy, I fill Lobstah's bucket (at school he's learned that it is important to be a "bucket filler" by passing positivity to your peers, essentially "filling their bucket").  From the backseat, my son's singing filled the car,

Bucket filler, Bucket filler

Every day, Every day.

I can fill a bucket.

I can fill a bucket.

You can tooooo.

You can toooooo.

I only wish I had recorded his cute little voice singing it, as he was so genuine in trying to get his sister to stop being sad.  The best part about it all?  It worked.

See - Once in while we've got a smile!

Yikes, If she touches me I'm not sure I can smile so big

Mom - she's still too close!

Really tooo close!!

The promise of a snack and the END of the photo session is the only reason I'm smiling!

MY Boppy!