Mother of Two

Friday, March 2

So last post I let it all out, all of the struggles I was feeling being a mommy of two (with many other stress contributing factors).  Today, it's all about the joy.  The joy of my adorable kids and their interaction with each other.  Quite fitting that I'm writing today for two reasons.  One - it's Dr. Seuss's birthday, and two - it was picture day at Gobbles' school.  They always do both individual pictures and sibling shots, so I asked if it was ok that I bring up the Lil Lobster Roll, even though she's not technically enrolled yet.  Those pics will come soon...

Gobbles has been pretty accepting and even helpful with his sister, as long as we don't push too hard.  Sure, he's asked to put her on the floor on more than one occasion and will try everything to change the subject of conversation if we're gushing about her for too long, but overall he's a wonderful big brother. 

He has helped give the Lobstah baths, throw out diapers, and most importantly grab burp clothes for me when I'm nursing.  Mommy feeds the baby from her belly.  Good Burp, Lobstah.  Mommy you use the milk machine to make bottles.

**At this point in writing I was interrupted by a request for showing with less than an hours' notice.  Then the chaos of the weekend ensued.  Etc.  Now it's Wednesday, March 7**

Monday night the living room got a little too quiet while I was making dinner.  I had left the baby on her playmat and Gobbles was playing, so I put down what I was doing to peek in and check on things.  Before I could round the corner I hear Mommy I hold Lobstah's haaaannnd?  (Whenever Gobbles asks a question his last word is always drawn out).  There I witnessed my two kids in a peaceful moment.  The first time Gobbles initiated contact on his own.  He was holding her hand and examining her tiny fingers.  I laid down on the floor next to them and said, "See how small her hand is?  Go ahead, give her a kiss".  Of course I overstepped my bounds and Gobbles dropped her hand and got up to go play with a balloon.

Of course the peace won't be there every day... last night as I was burping the Lil Lobster Roll, Gobbles was playing with a ball, bouncing it around the living room.  Out of nowhere - whoosh, bonk! - the ball bounced squarely off the side of my baby's head.  Now, this ball was soft enough that it didn't do any damage, but it definitely shocked the poor child.  Hubs and I both jumped into discipline mode and Gobbles got time out until he was able to muster an apology and a hug / kiss for his sister.  I have a feeling this won't be the last time he's going to get a lecture about how he treats her....

The house is crazy these days, filled with energy and joy and chaos and tears and tantrums and dirty diapers.  I know one of my best memories of this crazy time will be of a brotherly moment that occurred this sunday - I well up with pride whenever I think of it.  We were driving and Lil Lobster Roll was wailing in her carseat.  I looked in the rearview and said to Gobbles, "Can you sing a song to make your sister feel better?".  His little voice piped up Mommy, I fill Lobstah's bucket (at school he's learned that it is important to be a "bucket filler" by passing positivity to your peers, essentially "filling their bucket").  From the backseat, my son's singing filled the car,

Bucket filler, Bucket filler

Every day, Every day.

I can fill a bucket.

I can fill a bucket.

You can tooooo.

You can toooooo.

I only wish I had recorded his cute little voice singing it, as he was so genuine in trying to get his sister to stop being sad.  The best part about it all?  It worked.

See - Once in while we've got a smile!

Yikes, If she touches me I'm not sure I can smile so big

Mom - she's still too close!

Really tooo close!!

The promise of a snack and the END of the photo session is the only reason I'm smiling!

MY Boppy!



how much stress can you cram into one time period? I'll let you know when I burst...

Boy oh boy how quickly I've forgotten. I remembered, on paper, that getting a shower was a luxury, sleep was in two hour increments, and nursing makes one thirsty. But I don't think I was prepared for the emotional effort necessary to cope with all of that, plus keeping the house clean for showings, looking for a new job, recovering from having my stomach cut open, running after an energetic two year old, taking out two puppies, one of whom is wearing an Elizabethan collar while recovering from his own surgery, oh, and caring for a newborn. Did I mention that February is "year end" at hubs work so he did not get home until well after 8pm every night?

But, somehow, we've survived. Despite feeling like a "single mom" the last four weeks and venting out to hubs my feelings on exactly that, our marriage has survived as well. Unfortunately, the house has not sold yet, Cannoli is still wearing the lampshade, and I haven't found a new job yet. So I'm still slated to return to the job from hell in less than 7 weeks, and have to add that to the balancing act of all the above. I'm exhausted thinking about it. Actually, I'm just exhausted, thinking or not...

I feel like I'm getting Lil Lobster Roll's relationship with me off to a bad start. My mind is constantly on the next "to do", and since she cries most of the time she's not being held, I'm allowing her to sleep the day away once she falls asleep just so I can get stuff done. For instance, we have a showing tonight and the house hasn't been vacuumed in two weeks, the beds need making, diaper trashes must be emptied, and toys need to be cleaned up. Wrangling two kids and two dogs out of the house during dinnertime is just what I want to be doing in the rain. I'm only blogging because it's something I can do one handed while the baby chills in the other arm. Don't know if we'll make it to the vacuum.

And it almost brings me to tears thinking about the fact that Gobbles has been going to daycare almost every day so I can have the time to do crap like this. The plan was during my recovery he'd go, then we'd spend mommy and kids time at home when I was well enough to move around. I've been back on my feet for over 2 weeks and he's still going. I have been picking him up early and spending the afternoons with him, but the guilt over sending him in the morning, despite his begging to go see his friends, is slowly killing me, and I know I'll regret it when I'm back at work. I keep telling myself that as soon as the house is sold, or it's nice out, or Lil Lobster Roll gets into a better feeding routine, that is when we'll spend days at a time together.

All so we can have more room for our little family. So the crib doesn't have to be in the same room as the guest bed. So the dogs' water bowl won't be underfoot as I try to do dishes, soaking my feet as I accidentally kick it even though it's been in the same spot for ages. Gobbles has outgrown the high chair, but during our morning routine of getting ready, he sits there in it in the middle of the kitchen while we serve his breakfast and make lunches. The dream is to have him at a kitchen table so that we can still spend those precious 30 minutes with him each morning.  Besides, only 2-3 more months until the Lobstah needs the high chair anyway...

But is it all worth it?  Our lives have been on hold in some ways since the house went up for sale in June.  Going back and forth to the POD for stuff has gotten old, and I'm tired of lettinh strangers into our house only to tell us it shows excellently but too bad your price is based on what you paid at the height of the market... it will be when the kids don't have to lug their bikes up from the basement to take them outside and muddy towels won't line the floors of the kitchen since that's where we wipe off dirty puppy feet. 

Ok, this post has gone off in a direction that I did not intend.  I'll post it because it always feels better to vent, and tomorrow (or Friday??) I will post about the joys we've experienced in the last 5 weeks.  Despite the tone of this, I am so happy with our little girl and the dynamic she's brought to our family.

Until tomorrow... 

 

Little Sister

Lightning crashes, a new mother cries

This moment she's been waiting for

The angel opens her eyes

Pale blue colored eyes...

-Live

Dear Lil Lobster Roll,

You have arrived!  My pretty little girl, I still can't believe you are here!  And with your own thunderous entrance, already trying to outdo your big brother.  While we waited and waited for his arrival, you showed up 8 days earlier than expected, early Sunday morning, the 22nd of January.  You certainly made things convenient for us, with Mr. Gobbles already at your grandparents house so Mommy and Daddy could have one last night out. 

We enjoyed a fabulous dinner with your Godmother and Uncle and got home less than 2 hours before my water broke.  We got to the hospital just after midnight while the world was sleeping, so excited with anticipation to meet you.  Your daddy settled in the chair next to me while I settled in the bed and took each contraction with excitement that you were getting closer.  After 6 hours of labor you decided to throw a little curveball.  I had mentioned to the doctor that you were transverse a couple weeks before, but was told you turned.  This doctor was not from my regular practice because they shared weekend coverage with another team, so he decided to take a quick peak.  Indeed, you had turned, but not in the direction we wanted.  You were completely breach and we were told to prep for surgery, as you were coming via c-section.

Your daddy and I barely had time to digest the news before I got an epidural and was being wheeled away.  Within minutes of Daddy sitting down next to me in the OR dressed in his scrubs, we heard a high pitched screaming - it was you!  My little girl, you were such a peanut.  7 lbs 8 oz, almost 2 pounds less than your brother when he was born, I could not believe it!  The doctors took awhile sewing me back up so your Daddy was the first one to hold you after they cleaned you up. 

He held you by my head the whole time and we marvelled at your perfect features.  Your beautiful blue / hazel eyes, which may or may not darken like your brothers' did.  Your full head of dark hair - almost as thick as your Mommy's when she was a baby ;).  You have your Daddy's nose and upper lip, but my pouty lower lip.  Big hands and long toes, the latter from your father and the former from God knows where, but in common with your big brother.  All in all, you really look more like your brother than anyone - save for the extra rolls he had, you guys look exactly alike.  I'm so proud to have two beautiful children.

Here's a side by side comparison, no doubt you're brother and sister:

Gobbles - 2 days old

Lil lobster roll -8 days old

My lil lobster - you're not even two weeks old and we are already seeing sparks of your personality.  You have spunk, girl, demanding to be fed at less than an hour old while Mommy was still in recovery, and latching like a champ.   You let it be known to the world when you are hungry with your high pitched cry and frantic search for somewhere to get milk.  But then, after you are satiated, you are the most mellow child I've seen.  Relaxing and chilling in your seat or someone's arms, not even bothered when you blow up a diaper! 

Now that the dust has settled, we've had a few days to ourselves, and Mommy is starting to feel better, I look at you and am just amazed and elated that I have such a wonderful little girl.  I know in the future we'll go through phases where you'll be embarrassed of me, challenge me, and disagree with everything I say, but none of that will stop you from being my daughter, and I'll love you always.  You already own your Daddy's heart and your big brother has begun wringing his hands when you cry, trying to get you to stop.  Sure, he told us to put you on the floor a few times, but deep down he loves you very much too.  You have brought so much joy and happiness to our family already my little peanut, we are beyond thankful that you have entered our lives.

I love you baby girl!

Love,

Momma

Teeny Tiny Feet!!

I can finally dress my baby in babylegs!

The going home outfit was a little too big - we anticipated you to be another 9 pounder!

Love my babies!

Curious and inquisitive

I'm sure we'll have many family pictures with this squabbling

Will the blue eyes stay this time?

Just add a little space between and the kids are happy :)

Back in December... part 1 - Bday Recap

December is a very eventful month for our little family.  Our anniversary, Gobbles' birthday, and of course, Christmas.  I spent the last two weeks of the month praying each day that I would not go into labor early enough to have another December baby, because I already feel bad enough trying to give Gobbles his own time amidst all the holiday chaos.

But, we survives, and it looks like I'll be having a late January / early February baby after all.  So back to December.  I left off with my little boy turning two.  We anticipated having a large party for him, but when we hadn't moved into a larger house by then as planned, we had to improvise, cutting down the guest list to family and only about a third of our parent friends.  Again, the woes of having a winter baby - no big backyard party! 

We kept it pretty casual getting sandwiches and chicken fingers from the local deli, while hubs cooked up Gobbles' favorite homemade mac 'n cheese.  I baked some cookies and we ordered a cake with a fire truck theme.  We hung a few streamers and blew up balloons, and called it a party.  The entire week of his birthday we told Gobbles "Your party is on Saturday, and these are the friends you're going to see".  He was thrilled and kept telling everyone all week - Birthday Party Saturday! 

By the time Saturday came, he was raring to go.  With a recent string of birthdays in the family and school, Gobbles knew that the best part of birthdays are CANDLES!  He had almost perfected the Happy Birthday song and was singing it to himself in preparation.  We had no set agenda for his party, just basically, playing, presents, and cake since the guests ranged in age from 6 weeks to 60 years.  It suited us just fine, as Gobbles played with his buddies by coloring, using punch balloons, and pulling out a number of toys in the basement that he hadn't seen in ages. 

The one thing I was afraid of was that my boy would not be very good at sharing his own toys on his own turf.  To my relief, no tantrums were thrown.  He is a manipulative bugger though.  If a friend was playing with something he wanted, he'd offer them a trade.  For instance, there was a yellow balloon that was just that much more appealing than the rest, so he kept insisting that his friend take the orange one.  After the friend would release the yellow, Gobbles would grab it.  Sneaky sneaky little boy!

My favorite part of the day was when we actually sang happy birthday to Gobbles.  The look on his face was absolutely priceless.  He was so happy and proud that all these people  were singing for him!  His smile was so wide I nearly shed tears.  That's all we wanted from his party.  Of course, everyone was overly generous with gifts too, and Gobbles was a trooper lasting through opening about half before he wanted to actually stop and play with them. 

He talked about his party for weeks afterwards and how much fun he had.  This age is so much fun,  Gobbles has started retaining his memories enough to talk about them days and weeks afterwards, and they are always joyous and happy, which is all a mom could ever want. 

Here buddy- use this color; I'll take the red!

Playtime!

Here - you take this awesome remote and I'll take that there balloon!

Mr. Mooshie Man just hangin out!

Everyone is singing to me!  YAY!

Yay Candles!

Mmmm Cake!

Chillin with my pal!

HAHAHA so SILLY!

Awkward hugs, just like our BFF daddies!

yup, all of the present opening pretty much went like this - RIIIIIIP

Gobbles & Moosh!

I loved my party! 

"here it comes!"

i feel like there's always a lot of pressure on the first blog after a long hiatus.  do i discuss recent events?  go back to where we left off?  somewhere in between?  the month of december was a whirlwind with gobble's birthday, christmas, and an end of the year cold / flu that seemed to knock my whole family on our butts.

they were all so exciting to see gobbles enjoy all of the holiday events, but i'll catch up on them another time.  right now it's a milestone i want to discuss. 

the big P.  spelled P-E-E.  yup.  in what was likely a fluke, my boy peed on the toilet on sunday night.  for a few months now, we've had the potty chair out in the bathroom and occasionally offered it to gobbles at random times.  more recently, every time i've gone, he's sat down on his potty and played with the flusher.  we tried a few times to get him to take his diaper off while he sat, but he always refused. 

my mom had him at her house on sunday during the day and he asked her to use the potty.  she doesn't have one yet, so she offered him the toilet.  she told me he sat there for a minute or two but nothing happened and they were on their way.  later that night, back at our house, gobbles went to the steps and asked to go potty.  hubs and i took him upstairs and got out the potty, but he refused to take off his diaper.

i offered gobbles the "big boy potty", aka toilet, and he ran over, ready and proud to sit on the throne.  i sat him up there, made sure his aim was downwards, and we waited.  of course in my pregnant state i got uncomfortable squatting in front of the toilet helping him balance, so hubs took over.  less than a minute later, our son proclaimed Here it comes!!! Here comes the water!!!  and promptly started peeing.  it was both hilarious and shocking.  my boy, the toilet man.  we cheered for a few minutes and then i had to ruin it by telling him how exciting it would be to not have to wear a diaper anymore.  with that, he started shrieking at me to Put diaper back on!  Diaper back ON, mommy! 

so, it most likely was a fluke, he hasn't asked since, and daycare doesn't really start to push the potty training until the next classroom (2 1/2 year olds).  all this coupled with the fact that the lil lobster roll will be here in the next few weeks, i'm sure any progress he does make will be halted and reversed as soon as she arrives.

nevertheless, i'm quite proud of my little gobbles.  and of course later on that night i shed a tear for another milestone gone, and the shock of just how big my boy is getting.

and since we wouldn't go as far as taking pictures of potty training, i'll leave you with pics of gobbles and his new big boy bed.  we had to reclaim the daybed and convert it back to a crib, so he gets a regular ol' twin bed.  and until we move, any guests will be sleeping in princess sheets and sharing a room with a newborn.

oh just reading a book, hangin out!

'scuse me spoonsie da bear, you're on my bed!

cheese!

i suppose there's room for two of us - but no more pictures please!

all pinked out and ready to go... hoping the princess room will be the clincher to sell the place!