The Donald

I don't know why it seemed so sudden... It's been eight months since we were told our uncle had cancer.  My godfather.  The uncle that we were closest to out of the other 9 of my mom's siblings / siblings in law.  The man that read the second reading at my wedding, speaking the words, Love never fails.  The man that had two daughters and three grandchildren, with hopes of more on the way.  The man with whom my family vacationed for the first two decades of my life.  The man who was married to the woman we referred to as my mother's clone. The man who was one of my dad's best friends.  Suddenly, at 59, he is gone.

We said goodbye yesterday at the largest- and by far the saddest- funeral I have ever attended.  Coming from a family of 7 children and marrying into one with 11, Don had a huge immediate family and a large number of nieces and nephews.  Working in the sales industry, he also had many close relationships and friendships he had forged over the years.  His viewing had about 700 people and the luncheon for close friends and family tallied in around 200.

When I was younger, my sisters and I were very close to his daughters, the same ages as my older sister and myself.  We spent 1 precious week a year in Sea Isle with their family and spent the other 51 weeks talking about it.  We'd go crabbing and fishing, ride the rides and eat as much food as we could handle.  We would joke about how strict my mother and Uncle Don were, and how easy life would be if my father and Aunt C made the rules.  Despite being the hard disciplinarian, Don was the biggest jokester of the group, never failing to bust balls of anyone for a laugh, recounting the same instance for years as long as he had someone smiling. 

When we were teenagers prancing up and down the boardwalk looking for boys to meet, he never failed to keep us out of trouble even if it meant embarrassing us for our own good.  As a parent now, it's exactly what I know I'll do in the future.  As we grew older, went to college, and eventually married, our families became too big to pack together into one shore house.  Although he still lived in Delco until the moment he passed and my parents saw him frequently, I was not in touch with him as much in the past few years. 

I cannot shake the sorrow I feel that the last time I saw him was Christmas of last year.  When his diagnosis came, it never really sunk in and he seemed invincible, so I did not heed it closely.  I was always kept informed of his condition by my mom who, with my dad, spent a lot of time with him and Aunt C.  Last week when he suddenly turned after just the previous weekend having been well enough to go to the casinos and a football game, I was jarred.  I was hesitant to rush in and take up the precious minutes his daughters had left with him.  During the time of my waffling, he passed. 

It did not even really sink in until yesterday, when I watched my cousins stand stone-faced at the viewing as they were greeted by visitor after visitor, when I observed them break down and find new tears, which they'd previously been all out of, as his casket was wheeled up the aisle at church, when I heard my father speak the second reading with a faraway look in his eyes, and when my husband walked me back to the car after placing a flower on his casket at the grave, as I couldn't really fathom how it could be over already.  I wept through it all, not really understanding the how or why this could happen, and how my cousins and aunt were holding it together. 

In the past 4 years I have lost my last three grandparents, but the unexpected nature of my uncle's death (or the fact that I put my head in the sand so it was just unexpected to me), has strengthened my resolve to nurture the relationships I have, call old friends, and live each day as if I might not be able to tomorrow. 

I love you Uncle Don, I hope you are living it up with the angels and keeping everyone laughing, as you always have.

Those Stay at Home Moments

Even though work has picked up significantly and I've been logging enough hours to be practically full time again, I decided I would still try and keep the kids home with me on Fridays. So the hours in between playing stay at home mom for the day - going to appointments, grocery shopping, cleaning, baking, PLAYING - are spent with the kids parked in front of the TV and me on the computer, responding to last minute pre-weekend requests.

I only feel a little guilty that they'll get more TV time than they should on these days.  It makes up for the other 4 days they're at school all day and watch 15 minutes or less.  So far it's been a win win - I make some extra $$ billing work on Fridays and they get to decompress a little bit in preparation for our busy weekends, where we run around spending time with friends and family and adventures. 

We have done all kinds of things together, and I just love this age because they are close enough to entertain each other both at home and in public.  Some fun moments we've had in the last two months.  (ps - some of these pics are from non-Fridays, but they're all part of me being a mom - working or staying home). 

Mommy - this picture isn't even at HOME!  Daddy took me to Lowes to build El Chupacabra! 

Then Gobbles brought home his apron for me to wear!

Too many kids too big for the ball pit!

I am the best cookie making assistant in the WORLD!

Here Lobster, I'll stant on the outside so you don't fall off the chair.

Jump and THROW!  As simple as that!

Time to take a break from all that playing!

So proud on our first a normal day going to school

Mommy - the lunch box doesn't even fit all my stuff!

My first cheese steak!  YUM!

I could eat these all day long! 

Yep - There's Mr. Tom mowing the neighbor's.  We'll be next!

Now that it's a little chillier, we're not as jealous of the gorgeous pool next door!

Yup Mommy, I'm big enough to do this without you!

Here Lobster, let me help you get your shoes on!

But I'm not going to help you get down the slide!

Stay on the road, please!

Gobbles needs to stop telling me what to do, I declare!

Oh Spooooonsie!  We Love you!

Really... do we have to go to school?  She reeeeally needs us today!

Here Gobbles, lemme give you a hand!

I Love chalk!  And sticking my foot in the air!

They'll never take, our FREEDOM!

The age when they lose their fear of the vacuum yet maintain
the fascination with it - priceless!

Flu shots for everyone!  The lobster has batman for comfort, Gobbles has
my little pony.... hmnmm.

I charmed the lady at the bank into giving me a lolipop!

Uh, lobster?  She gives them to all the kids...

Ok, back on the road, can you catch me?

It's just like training Rocky, when you catch me you can rest!

I will not sit still to let you measure anything for my halloween costume!

We WILL sit on your bed and watch TV!

We're gonna take turns helping wtih Daddy's birthday cupcakes.

Or maybe I'll just keep stirring myself!

Mommy!  He took it!

Why can't I stand close to the mixer!

Yum - can we have a bite?



Hey there Cannoli!  How's it going?

I'm just gonna take a quick break and run down this hill!

Actually, rolling is a lot more fun!

So glad we cut those hedges - now we can see Spoons waiting for us!

A new friend found while weeding!

Can we keep him?

Please!  No room for more animals!

Our shadows are Talll!!

Bedtime stories - Gobbles has a trick by picking the longest books ever!

And the lobster's trick is making her hair have that slicked comb over after bath!

Aww Cannoli, did you get lost down the basement again?

Fall Kickoff

The leaves are turning, the night air has a distinct chill, and the kids are too snug every morning to wake up for school - it's officially fall!  Our weekends have been jam-packed so far with soccer, block parties, pumpkin patches, food festivals, and, of course, the restart of birthday party season.  Where to begin?  I guess from the beginning!

Little help here??

Our first fall event was a mid-September / end of summer event - a BBQ at my sister's house.  The weather was perfect and the food was good.  We cracked a few Oktoberfests and let the kids run around the yard with her dog and basically get attention from every direction while we relaxed.  The Lobster Roll munched on snacky foods and Gobbles attempted to dictate the instructions on how to put together the ladder ball set. 



Mmmm. Don't forget I love Cheetos now too!

So you put this in here, and hmmm... Are these words upside down?

Evil Smile!

The next weekend went unplanned until a few days prior, when a neighbor sent out an email about doing pizza in the cul de sac on Saturday night.  After finding out some of Gobbles' neighborhood pals would be there, we baked up some pumpkin shortbread bars and decided we'd be in.  It was a good night to be in, considering about 60 other people could make it too, and it turned into a hell of a block party.  That is, until it got dark. 

Gobbles spent the night playing in the common neighborhood "fort" in the woods with the other kids, riding his bike around the street, sampling goodies, and watching a movie.  The Lobster, a bit clingy as she is with the neighbors, spent the early evening chatting with another little girl, showing off her princess camping chair, and also sampling goodies.  When the sun set, one of the neighbors brought out a speaker and hooked his ipod up, playing fun music.  The Lobster started loosening up and dancing all around in the street. 

Earlier that day, I had done the drawer swap to put in her new fall clothes and pull out anything that didn't fit.  Apparently I was overzealous in thinking all of the 24 month pants would fit, because some were a little loose.  While she was dancing, I went to pull up her pants, and she took a faceplant right on the concrete.  The Lobster Roll began wailing and we brought her inside to clean her up.  Hubs decided with the blood and the gashes smack on her nose that it'd be good to go to the ER.  I was half frazzled with guilt, half upset for my poor baby's nose, and half buzzed, so hubs took her and I stayed behind with Gobbles, who was oblivious to the whole situation still having fun with his friends.

The neighbors assured me everything would be ok, and I knew it would, but I couldn't help but shed a few tears out of pure guilt - after all, I caused her to tip over!  They lightened the mood while I waited to hear from hubs by telling me about previous block party / christmas party incidents in the neighborhood - one kid broke a wrist, another needed stitches, another broke a collarbone!  I suppose it was just a right of passage into the group in a twisted way. 

I heard from hubs rather quickly that he was on his way back.  Prognosis - it would have been a broken nose had the Lobster possessed the bones to break, but since they weren't formed yet, it was just some smashed cartilage.  With the nasal passages and septum clear, the doctor said insurance wouldn't cover plastic surgery.  Because, you know, we'd definitely consider it for the sake of vanity!?!  As of now, the skin has healed and I am the only one who can see the bump.  We joke that now she'll have her Daddy's nose instead of mine, that's all.

Baby's first ER trip.  A full year older than her brother for his.

Well I can see the bump too in this picture, but this is only 12 hours post incident!

Nothing can bring me down though - I don't even notice!

I told all my teachers at school - Nose HURTS!

But that was for a day - all better by the end of the week!

Suddenly, it was October, and our calendar was jam-packed.  We realized the only day to make it to Linvilla Orchards would be the first weekend, which happened to be 80 degrees.  The kids didn't seem to mind the heat, so along with my sister and brother-in-law we fed the animals, rode the train, played among the pumpkins and stuffed our faces full of funnel cake.  We even took a hayride to the witches' house with the sun beating down on us. 

When we thought the day was ending, Gobbles suddenly wanted to do the apple slingshot (which I'd been encouraging him to try all day - it just looked like so much fun)!  The concept seems appalling thinking what a waste of apples this is, but apparently these are ones that have fallen from the trees and cannot be eaten.  I'm glad the kids tried it out because Gobbles said it was the most fun he had all day, probably because it was something new and he got to send things flying through the air- a typical boy.  By the time we left both kids were so exhausted we didn't even buy pumpkins to take home.  With the heat they probably wouldn't survive until Halloween anyway, so it'll be grocery store pumpkins this year, kids...

We're posing in front of the train tracks because we cannot WAIT for it to get started!

I AM the great pumpkin!

Mommy I'm just a sweetie, aren't I?

YUM GOAT!

We prefer to sit on a bench instead of the hay, thankyouverymuch!

I will only smile with Mommy's glasses on!

Bailin Bailin HAY HAY!

C'mon Daddy, I'll help you!

This apple went about 4 feet, but the Lobster cheered as if it hit a target...

Look at that form!

Lazy boy stroller thief!

The next day, still riding high on the warm weather, we headed off to a birthday party of one of Gobble's classmates.  This little girl was his first classmate party last year and was now turning 4.  Since the party, we've gotten three more invites.  For some reason I thought everyone would be taking the year off, and I'm wavering as to whether I should plan a classmate party for Gobbles again.  Oh too much to think about!

This party was at a local park, with  a Little Mermaid & Pirate theme.  Younger siblings were welcome, as this girl and a lot of Gobbles' classmates have lil ones the Lobster's age.  I really wish I had planned a little better and had my kids' birthdays in the warm months, because this really is the way to go.  We watched the kids run themselves ragged on the playground before having a picnic lunch, playing bean bag toss, smacking a pinata, having photo ops, and, of course, eating cake.  It was a great afternoon.

Mommy - why don't you have the artistic ability of this mom??

I'll get you mermaid!

Yay!  She's blowing out the candles! Like my eyepatch?

I'll just hold onto the party favors on the way home.

This past weekend, we had another birthday party, this time with Gobbles new neighbor pal, C, also turning 4.  C is the youngest of three kids, and his parents (like most of the neighborhood families) are around 40.  Their parenting wisdom in everything from planning the party to execution was evident and really opened my eyes to the "not sweating the small stuff".  A few weeks ago, C's mom mentioned to me that his party was going to be on this date, she'll get an evite out.  Her email and the evite came out the week before letting us know she'd be taking a few of the kids and a parent to the nearby farm for hayrides, pumpkin patching, etc, then the rest of the families would meet back at their place for party and cake. 

The day before the party, the farm cancelled due to impending weather.  No worries from C's mom  - they'll just do food and cake as planned.  We got to their house and Gobbles disappeared with the kids, our hosts handed us beer and wine and directed us to the table of apps, of which the Lobster gladly took part.  They had set up apple bobbing, craft activities, cookie decorating, and a few more indoor activities to entertain the kids.  Guests included a few neighborhood families as well as some friends and family members of the hosts.  C's older sister and her friends helped out with the games and entertainment, and I got a glimpse of how the other side lives.  I'm always so stressed out when it comes to throwing the perfect party for my kids, and worried about what the other kids' parents (those I don't know very well) think of me.  C's mom made everything seem so easy, we were laid back and comfortable just chit chatting and letting the kids do their thing.  I had such a nice time at this party, and I hope I can ease stressing over little things as my kids get older.

The next day, as tired as the kids were, hubs and I convinced them to go to the Chili Cookoff as part of hubs' birthday weekend (we baked him cupcakes on Friday, for his birthday the previous Tuesday - whoo hoo celebration).  Hubs told them it was a funfair because he read there was a moon bounce there.  That was enough to convince Gobbles.  We got there and started to regret our decision a little bit.  It was packed!  Wall to wall chili fans all scouring for a taste.  Next year, no stroller!  We found a place to stand while hubs did the running for the chili.  At first, the kids were hesitant.  After a few prompts, the Lobster was hooked (Gobbles continued his protest and had some fruit snacks instead).  The Lobster however, couldn't get enough.  More please! More Chili!  She kept asking.  If she caught a bean she'd spit it out and keep going, so we came up with a system.  I'd eat the beans, she'd eat the rest.  It worked out pretty well, and we left fat and happy, after a half hour stop at the mounbounce stuff for Gobbles, of course!

 

I detect a note of coriander...

Hey lady back there in the socks and sandels - I SEE you!

Oh the cornbread topping on this one is just de-light-ful!