Two and a HALF. Plus 1 month. Plus another day or two.

Someday we'll find it

The Rainbow Connection

The Lovers, the Streamers, and ME!

Dear Gobbles,

I know I'm a bit late on your epic 30 month letter, and I sincerely apologize.  Especially because this will probably be the last mid-year letter you need, since you're almost completely developed into a little kid.  There is no toddler about you anymore.  Except for the diaper, which you really only wear out of stubbornness.  You pee and poop on the potty like it's your job (well, since you get paid, maybe it is?).  A few weeks ago when I was putting your sister to bed, you marched past me down the hall proclaiming "I need some coins, so I'm gonna sit on the potty".  Maybe our method has backfired somehow?  You also tried a hard negotiation with me the other night - you peed and got a penny (your favorite coin), you decided you needed to go back on the potty.  After you farted a few times and declared yourself done, we went back into your room and you demanded two coins, saying that a fart is worth two when you know darn well a poop is worth two and you get nothing for farting.  Except adolescent giggles from your father. 

Of course, you threw a tantrum over not getting the additional coins you requested, and not just a tantrum.  You were mad.  You didn't just cry, you used your words to try and convince me that I was wrong in seeing a difference between a fart and a poop.  As inane and laughable as this argument sounds, I came away pretty proud of you for bringing up point to back up your argument (i farted with my bum, it felt like a poop, smelled like a poop, so should be paid for like a poop).  Your brain is always working overtime to explain why you feel the way you do.  This probably stems from the fact that you've been asking us why for months now, and I'll always play the game back with you to explain as much as I can.

Your latest new word game we like to play is opposites.  For fun, you just like to say the opposite of whatever I do.  It usually starts out with me telling you NO, and you coming back at me with Yes!.  After a few back and forth rounds I'll just let it all out at once noyesnoyesnoyes, which will at least crack a smile from you.  Before you remember what you were asking for, I'll change the subject Cold! and you come back with Hot!  we banter back and forth again and we end up with coldhotcoldhotcoldhot!  Every new opposite pair I introduce you seem to retain and bring up the next time.

Speaking of retaining, oh my goodness, you retain (and repeat) everything.  We were driving through a traffic jam last week and I got cut off, muttering under my breath.  A few minutes later, you come out with Where'd the idiot go?  Oh brother.  I've really got to stop with the road rage.  You are retaining things for the good though as well.  You've got a number of books memorized, your favorites being 101 Dalmations, If you give a Mouse a Cookie, and Brown Bear Brown Bear What do you See?.  And songs it seems like you only need to hear once or twice before you're singing away, usually in the backseat of the car.  If I join in you stop singing and shout No Mommmmy! I'm singing!  Because apparently my voice is not music to your ears.  That's ok, I love hearing everything from London Bridges to Call Me Maybe coming out of your mouth - you crack me up buddy.

Gobbles, I know you've been dreaming for awhile because of visiting your room due to night tremors, but the other morning made me realize that you're starting to recall your thoughts, and think about things at night.  The other morning when I woke you up, you looked at me and said Aiden and Carter are in the closet, and Aiden's daddy is at Grandmom's house.  We're smashing the boxes in the closet.  This was your first morning back to daycare in a week and we had stressed the night before that you'd be a good boy going back to school.  So you dreamt of your school buddies, threw in a little Grandmom, and there you have your first dream that you remembered.  And I know you think about things at night as you're drifting off to sleep because you're always talking to yourself in your bed.  You talk about your day and which kids played with which toys and who liked the sprinkler and who didn't... It's just amazing to me that there's so much going on in that little head of yours.  I can't wait to see which moments you will hold onto as memories and hope that they're all happy.

You are still Mr. bossypants but I'm sure that has more to do with watching your mother than anything else.  There is a place for everything and everything is in its place.  If you walk into grandmom's house and one of your calculators is missing, you demand it be put back on your desk.  If something is out of place at home or a dog gets out of line, you set everything straight.  Your teachers have nicknamed you Jimney Cricket, because you are everyone's little conscience at school and you make sure all the rules are followed (you even told a teacher when she was sitting where she shouldn't have been).  Mr. Gobbles, please please please lighten up a little on this - I know it's hard, trust me, from one control freak to another - but I don't want your little friends to get annoyed when they realize you're telling them all what to do, even though we all know you mean well.

I've gushed on an on about you buddy but I just can't help how proud I am of you and what a big boy you've become in such a short time.  The thing I am most proud of is the caring and affectionate big brother you are now.  The other day I was cleaning up and the Lil Lobster Roll was lounging in her chair just hanging out.  You were playing nicely with your toys when suddenly you got up Oh Lobster - here's your elephant, here you go!  And you walked over and placed her toy lovingly next to her head.  It was such a sweet and unprompted moment that made me melt a little inside.  You will randomly give her gentle hugs cute kisses, and continue to sing to her when she cries. She loves you so much and breaks out into a big smile whenever you're interacting with her.   The other night when we were all saying goodnight you grabbed her hand and manipulated her little fingers to fit around your thumb and smiled.  I again melted and exchanged glances with your Daddy who was also turning to jello.  You are the best big brother in the world and I'm so proud of you.

I Love You Forever my little Gobbles.  A quarter of the way to ten.  Sigh.

Love,
Mommy

Shh... I'm workin here!

firsts. and seconds.

This past weekend was the Lil Lobster Roll's first trip to the beach.  My sister and I decided last minute to crash my parents' quiet time down the shore in the name of family and being together after the rough last week.  Hubs was off to a bachelor party so the kids and I loaded up and shipped out.

The Lobster had a wonderful time at the beach... I think.  After she quickley dipped her toes in the ocean she slept the morning away!

Mom-MY! don't pull my bathing suit up!

Do not disturb....

Seriously... do not disturb.  That swim tired me out!

Gobbles of course did what he does best - made a huge mess with the sand, and hilariously dumped a bucket of water all over his sunbathing grandmom.  He was a little more timid with the ocean than he was last year, clinging to me as I encouraged him to jump the waves.  He was much more interested in the lifeguard boats and 4 wheelers that were scattered around.

mehhh - don't like the water right now!

I'd rather work on my masterpiece - a sand school bus.  Or a choo choo!

Do NOT mess with my creation!!

After lunch, instead of napping (despite not going to sleep until midnight the night before!), Gobbles insisted on playing with playdough on the deck while momma drank beer and watched the ocean.  Of course it caught up with him later, falling asleep before dinner, which worked out fine for me since by then I had a nice buzz going.  I got to chat the night away with my sister, so the trip turned out to be a nice little success. 

Ok mommy! I have the pink and you take the green.  What shall we make?  A school bus and a choo choo of course!

Noooo! I don't want to napppp!

Until of course we got home on Saturday, when Gobbles came down with a fever and soon after had the worst case of croup he's had to date.  Oh buddy, this marks second time he got sick because of the excitement of a beach trip (the first being last year in Hilton Head - um gobbles what was with your hair??). 

And finally, another first for Miss Lobster Roll.  As it goes, spending too much time near her sick brother has gotten my girl her very first cold.  I'm beat from spending the last two nights holding her precariously propped up so she could breathe. 

But despite all this, both kids are smiling.  They are the best!

Love!

Love!

... it pours

...continuing on the weekend roller coaster...

We woke up early Sunday morning to the sound of the phone ringing.   My Mom Mom, who'd had a stroke a few weeks ago, had passed in her sleep.  Though it was not unexpected, it still shook me a little bit.  My third grandparent to pass in 3 years. Our family (on my side) is back to three generations.  My parents had just left for a week at the shore the day before, and ironically enough, my Pop Pop had passed while we were at the shore 13 years ago.  Fathers' day will have a new meaning for my Dad from now on.  Mom Mom just turned 90 last week. 

Mom Mom was a quiet lady, half Italian half French who married my Pop Pop while he was home for a week during WWII, before he had to ship back off to the Pacific.  They had one child - my dad, and lived a modest life in Overbrook for as far back as I can remember.  She was a working mom before it was popular, working as a seamstress and a member of the garmentmakers' union.  My dad affectionately refers to himself as a "the original latchkey kid".

When we were little, our parents would drop us off at Mom Mom and Pop Pop's house to sleep over.  Their house was a typical Philly row home with the garage at the basement level opening to an alley with shared fire escapes leading up to the homes' kitchens.  This made the back bedrooms seem so high off the street level - 3 stories up from the alley.  For some inane reason whenever we slept over there I was afraid of bears.  Yup, those west Philly bears.  I was like five, ok?  And envisioned King- Kong type bears.  Anyway, as Mom Mom would put us to bed and I'd express my fears, she'd quell them by assuring me if the bears get near the window, she wouldn't let them in the house.  The next morning breakfast she'd always let us mix the apple juice and orange juice together and we thought it was the best tasting thing in the world.  Last week when we were visiting, my older sister reminded my of how Mom Mom would take her teeth out to make us laugh / scare us.  It was simple entertainment on our trips to her house, and we would always leave with newly sewn matching outfits for our cabbage patch dolls.

Once a year, the church that she belonged to would hold a carnival.  When I was three or four, I won my first ever carnival prize - a giant polar bear - on a spin the wheel game.  I still picture it in my head, I laid the quarter on the number 3, my birthday, and low and behold the wheel landed on three.  I picked the largest white bear with a rainbow shirt and cap, and still remember proudly marching it back to Mom Mom's house. 

A lot of holidays were spent at Mom Mom's, I can still smell her escarole ("scuttle") soup and her homemade, hand cranked linguine with gravy - no sauce in that house!  And nothing beat her ricotta pie.  My sisters and I would parade into the house and Pop Pop would shout "Here come the three miss Americas!"  We'd sit too close to the TV watching the Phillies game or whatever parade was making its way through Philly.  When it would be time for us to leave, he would never let us go without "secretly" giving each of us a few crisp new dollar bills.

I'm happy that Mom Mom got to meet her great-grandson a few times and even got to hold her great granddaughter once when my parents brought the kids to visit.  I'm sad that over the last year life got in the way and I only saw her a handful of times, and incredibly guilty that prior to her stroke I hadn't seen her since before the baby was born.  I know my visits after the stroke were received, as she reacted with slight smiles and muffled laughter to the videos of the kids I played in her ear, but I still feel like telling her I loved her one last time and wishing her a happy birthday could have been done while looking her in the eye.

I'm not sure how life will change for my parents now that they are the grandparents, and how it will affect my relationship with them.  But I do know that I will work hard to make sure my kids spend enough time with all four of their grandparents to establish lasting memories that they can someday share.

I love you Mom Mom, rest in peace.  And, as your son pointed out, enjoy the view since you can now see again.

The weekend rollercoaster - when it rains...

What's that old saying - when it rains it pours?  Bad things happen in threes?  Einstein's chaos theory? 

Anyway, this past weekend was a complete roller coaster of emotion and events.

The first low came Friday night, sometime while we were getting the kids dinner my phone beeped that I had a voicemail.  Having totally missed our realtor's call, I frantically checked the message.  She apologized for having to drop a bomb on a lovely Friday night, but the greedy ass buyer did not want to go through with our proposal because they felt, even though we had a shit appraisal and were dropping the price to accommodate, that if we wanted to stay in the house we should pay rent.  Hello - you're getting 8k off your house - that's not enough rent?  So basically, the deal was off.  Of course I began sobbing and we broke out a bottle of the good wine after we put the kids to bed so we could drown our sorrows.

The next day, it was fire truck day at the please touch museum, so we saddled up the kids to see one of Gobbles' favorite things, and take our minds off the house debacle.  On the way there we told him where we were going and his reply I'm not scared of the fire truck!  Fire trucks don't scare me!  He kept repeating it over and over as if to convince himself that there'd be nothing to fear.  Of course when we got there he clung to me and nearly threw a fit when the fireman tried to lift him into the passenger seat of the truck. 

After we finished with the truck we went inside a little bit where Gobbles got to play with all of his usual favorites - the backhoe loader, the trains, the ambulance, the boats, and the dump truck.  I was so proud watching him play independently but also interact so kindly with children he'd never met.  There were so many kids there pushing and shoving their way around, while Gobbles would (with a little prodding from us of course) take turns, share pieces, and ask politely if he needed something.  We even got a compliment from a dad of a little girl with whom Gobbles shared his trains.

We went by the room with the carousel and it was as if there was an invisible force field in the doorway.  Gobbles is not a fan of rides and this was no exception - he would not toe over the line into the big bright carousel room.  When asked if he wanted to ride the horses, his eyes got big, he laughed mischievously as if to cover up his fear, and he turned and ran away.  We've been trying to get him ready for the shore and rides this summer, but i think we'll be sticking to the fun slide this year.

On our way home from the museum, we got a call from our realtor.  She and the buyer's agent are working hard to see this deal go through, and have offered up part of their commission and other fees in exchange for us selling at the low appraisal.  Hubs and I discussed it and decided to accept with the caveat that settlement is moved back to September so we have more time to find a house.  We were relieved at the thought this still might happen, but now it's Tuesday and we haven't seen any revised paperwork from the buyer.

Keeping our temporary happy streak going on Saturday, we decided to press our luck by going out to dinner.  This marked the first time our family of 4 went out for a full meal, complete with beer :)  Iron hill is like a children's haven around 5 pm, so we knew it would be ok.  We made our way through salads, entrees, and dessert with Gobbles well behaved the entire time.  I think we're turning over a new leaf.  We happily got the crew home and in bed with anticipation of a fun fathers' day the next morning.

Then, the roller coaster dropped again... which I'll continue in the next post....

Fire trucks don't scare me.  Fire trucks don't scare me...

Get me outta here man!

's ok. I can sit here calm on the back of the truck!

See - you don't scare me after all, fire truck!

I LOVE digging with the backhoe!

And playing with the boats.

Cheese!

Mommy should just buy me a cho choo like this one!

Ey you!  In the dump truck.  more bricks ova heyea!

Whooo whoo!  Here comes the ambulance!

Ahh!  Dinner!

Finally Mommy!  A picture of me!  Was I just so quiet all day you forgot you had a lobster roll?

life on hold

There have been many times in my life when I've thought, Wow, I am so incredibly busy.  If I can just get over this hump of busy-ness I'll be good to finally live life...

In high school, I'd play sports for no less than two teams every season, work, do homework, and, of course, socialize.  One could only dream to have this schedule now!

In college, there was a year where I carried 18 credits, worked a part-time co op, spent hours working and practicing with the concrete canoe team, and drank my face off.  What I would give to have these things to complain about again.

In '05, I planned our wedding, hubs changed jobs, and we bought our first house.  Ha, I laugh at myself for thinking it was a stressful year!  I was so naive.

In '08, I was flying back and forth every week to Peoria, IL via a layover in O'Hare for the entire summer.  The same summer we happened to have eight weddings over a few months.  One of which I was in, two for him.  And we had two dogs to take care of.  Looking back I can't believe I thought this was hard.

Over the past year, I have taken our brood out of our home no less than 80 times at an hour each for people to waltz through with hopes that they would by it.  And by brood I mean two puppies, a toddler, and a pregnant belly for the first 8 months, and the next 4 take away the belly (well a few lbs of it) and add a baby.  In the rain, in the dark, during naptime, after bedtime, on mothers' day morning before church.  In the stroller, on a bike, sitting in the car, driving around, or to my mom's house.  Let's add in a new job for both of us in the last year, trying to find a new home, and finally, finally accepting an offer and coordinating moving.  I think it's safe to say that this is the most stress our family can handle and hope things never get harder...

We were finally getting excited and preparing to make an offer on our new home when BAM.  The appraisal on our house came back ridiculously low and now the bank is refusing to lend to the buyer our agreed price.  We have two choices - say thanks but no thanks to the buyer, put the house back on the market, re-live the showings nightmare that has been the last year and hope for a non-FHA buyer; or concede another 8k to this buyer on top of the 40k discount from what we've put into it that he's already getting. 

Cue the sleepless nights again.

We have one glimmer of hope with a proposal I came up with, that could help both parties...  We'll drop the purchase price down if they let us remain in the house for 10 weeks after settlement, which would allow us to put in an offer free of contingencies and hopefully get a better price on our new home.  Not to mention we could move at our own pace after we settle, with the least amount of disruption to our children, dogs, and our lives.

Our lives.  When we packed up most of our clutter into a POD a year ago this week, we figured it would only be temporary.  We were so eager to get our house on the market thinking it would sell instantly and we could be settled in time for our annual labor day picnic that we backed out of a camping trip with friends.  All for what?  We're still here.  When our grill broke a month later we figured we'll hold off on buying a new one because rather than transport it we'll just get the new one at our new house.  I've been craving a charred hot dog for months.  We decided that rather than having a bbq for our friends and family we'd let the house show.  I miss hosting terribly.

We basically put our whole lives on hold.  Every weekend besides the two weeks after the little lobster roll was born there was at least one party coming through the house, so we spent countless hours cleaning, prepping, and staging.  We did this to the detriment of our children - throwing barney on while we rushed around the house, rushing them out the door to sit in the car with the dogs instead of going to the please touch museum, and having them eat meals in the car in the pool parking lot near our house, watching and waiting for the parties to show up and leave.

I'm sick of it.  Thankfully, we haven't had any showings in the last month because of the accepted offer, we just had the inspection, appraiser, and electrical repairmen to deal with.  And we slowly are getting our lives back. We took a random trip to the Brandywine Zoo two weeks ago, and the kids loved it.  Hubs and I did some food and wining this past weekend and had a blast.  Hoping to make it to the aquarium for fathers' day.  We're still filling in at least one day every week with packing and looking at houses, but I'm done being "too busy" to do fun stuff with the kids.

We're hoping and praying that the buyer accepts the proposal we set forth to him, because it would be worth the additional 8k to us to be able to enjoy this summer with our kids - camping, beaching, adventuring, with packing and moving being a side project.  It's time to take our lives off hold, and even if that means having a grill to transport, we're going to buy a new one now, and use it all summer. 

I am ready to start spending my free days like this:

Ready for a day at the zoo!  Or, like an hour!

Oh HIII Goat!

I love all of you goats!  You can't hide from me!

Here goats - eat the hay!

I am the goat whisperer

Daddy look at the river!  And this random kid who wants to hang out with us!