... it pours

...continuing on the weekend roller coaster...

We woke up early Sunday morning to the sound of the phone ringing.   My Mom Mom, who'd had a stroke a few weeks ago, had passed in her sleep.  Though it was not unexpected, it still shook me a little bit.  My third grandparent to pass in 3 years. Our family (on my side) is back to three generations.  My parents had just left for a week at the shore the day before, and ironically enough, my Pop Pop had passed while we were at the shore 13 years ago.  Fathers' day will have a new meaning for my Dad from now on.  Mom Mom just turned 90 last week. 

Mom Mom was a quiet lady, half Italian half French who married my Pop Pop while he was home for a week during WWII, before he had to ship back off to the Pacific.  They had one child - my dad, and lived a modest life in Overbrook for as far back as I can remember.  She was a working mom before it was popular, working as a seamstress and a member of the garmentmakers' union.  My dad affectionately refers to himself as a "the original latchkey kid".

When we were little, our parents would drop us off at Mom Mom and Pop Pop's house to sleep over.  Their house was a typical Philly row home with the garage at the basement level opening to an alley with shared fire escapes leading up to the homes' kitchens.  This made the back bedrooms seem so high off the street level - 3 stories up from the alley.  For some inane reason whenever we slept over there I was afraid of bears.  Yup, those west Philly bears.  I was like five, ok?  And envisioned King- Kong type bears.  Anyway, as Mom Mom would put us to bed and I'd express my fears, she'd quell them by assuring me if the bears get near the window, she wouldn't let them in the house.  The next morning breakfast she'd always let us mix the apple juice and orange juice together and we thought it was the best tasting thing in the world.  Last week when we were visiting, my older sister reminded my of how Mom Mom would take her teeth out to make us laugh / scare us.  It was simple entertainment on our trips to her house, and we would always leave with newly sewn matching outfits for our cabbage patch dolls.

Once a year, the church that she belonged to would hold a carnival.  When I was three or four, I won my first ever carnival prize - a giant polar bear - on a spin the wheel game.  I still picture it in my head, I laid the quarter on the number 3, my birthday, and low and behold the wheel landed on three.  I picked the largest white bear with a rainbow shirt and cap, and still remember proudly marching it back to Mom Mom's house. 

A lot of holidays were spent at Mom Mom's, I can still smell her escarole ("scuttle") soup and her homemade, hand cranked linguine with gravy - no sauce in that house!  And nothing beat her ricotta pie.  My sisters and I would parade into the house and Pop Pop would shout "Here come the three miss Americas!"  We'd sit too close to the TV watching the Phillies game or whatever parade was making its way through Philly.  When it would be time for us to leave, he would never let us go without "secretly" giving each of us a few crisp new dollar bills.

I'm happy that Mom Mom got to meet her great-grandson a few times and even got to hold her great granddaughter once when my parents brought the kids to visit.  I'm sad that over the last year life got in the way and I only saw her a handful of times, and incredibly guilty that prior to her stroke I hadn't seen her since before the baby was born.  I know my visits after the stroke were received, as she reacted with slight smiles and muffled laughter to the videos of the kids I played in her ear, but I still feel like telling her I loved her one last time and wishing her a happy birthday could have been done while looking her in the eye.

I'm not sure how life will change for my parents now that they are the grandparents, and how it will affect my relationship with them.  But I do know that I will work hard to make sure my kids spend enough time with all four of their grandparents to establish lasting memories that they can someday share.

I love you Mom Mom, rest in peace.  And, as your son pointed out, enjoy the view since you can now see again.

The weekend rollercoaster - when it rains...

What's that old saying - when it rains it pours?  Bad things happen in threes?  Einstein's chaos theory? 

Anyway, this past weekend was a complete roller coaster of emotion and events.

The first low came Friday night, sometime while we were getting the kids dinner my phone beeped that I had a voicemail.  Having totally missed our realtor's call, I frantically checked the message.  She apologized for having to drop a bomb on a lovely Friday night, but the greedy ass buyer did not want to go through with our proposal because they felt, even though we had a shit appraisal and were dropping the price to accommodate, that if we wanted to stay in the house we should pay rent.  Hello - you're getting 8k off your house - that's not enough rent?  So basically, the deal was off.  Of course I began sobbing and we broke out a bottle of the good wine after we put the kids to bed so we could drown our sorrows.

The next day, it was fire truck day at the please touch museum, so we saddled up the kids to see one of Gobbles' favorite things, and take our minds off the house debacle.  On the way there we told him where we were going and his reply I'm not scared of the fire truck!  Fire trucks don't scare me!  He kept repeating it over and over as if to convince himself that there'd be nothing to fear.  Of course when we got there he clung to me and nearly threw a fit when the fireman tried to lift him into the passenger seat of the truck. 

After we finished with the truck we went inside a little bit where Gobbles got to play with all of his usual favorites - the backhoe loader, the trains, the ambulance, the boats, and the dump truck.  I was so proud watching him play independently but also interact so kindly with children he'd never met.  There were so many kids there pushing and shoving their way around, while Gobbles would (with a little prodding from us of course) take turns, share pieces, and ask politely if he needed something.  We even got a compliment from a dad of a little girl with whom Gobbles shared his trains.

We went by the room with the carousel and it was as if there was an invisible force field in the doorway.  Gobbles is not a fan of rides and this was no exception - he would not toe over the line into the big bright carousel room.  When asked if he wanted to ride the horses, his eyes got big, he laughed mischievously as if to cover up his fear, and he turned and ran away.  We've been trying to get him ready for the shore and rides this summer, but i think we'll be sticking to the fun slide this year.

On our way home from the museum, we got a call from our realtor.  She and the buyer's agent are working hard to see this deal go through, and have offered up part of their commission and other fees in exchange for us selling at the low appraisal.  Hubs and I discussed it and decided to accept with the caveat that settlement is moved back to September so we have more time to find a house.  We were relieved at the thought this still might happen, but now it's Tuesday and we haven't seen any revised paperwork from the buyer.

Keeping our temporary happy streak going on Saturday, we decided to press our luck by going out to dinner.  This marked the first time our family of 4 went out for a full meal, complete with beer :)  Iron hill is like a children's haven around 5 pm, so we knew it would be ok.  We made our way through salads, entrees, and dessert with Gobbles well behaved the entire time.  I think we're turning over a new leaf.  We happily got the crew home and in bed with anticipation of a fun fathers' day the next morning.

Then, the roller coaster dropped again... which I'll continue in the next post....

Fire trucks don't scare me.  Fire trucks don't scare me...

Get me outta here man!

's ok. I can sit here calm on the back of the truck!

See - you don't scare me after all, fire truck!

I LOVE digging with the backhoe!

And playing with the boats.

Cheese!

Mommy should just buy me a cho choo like this one!

Ey you!  In the dump truck.  more bricks ova heyea!

Whooo whoo!  Here comes the ambulance!

Ahh!  Dinner!

Finally Mommy!  A picture of me!  Was I just so quiet all day you forgot you had a lobster roll?

life on hold

There have been many times in my life when I've thought, Wow, I am so incredibly busy.  If I can just get over this hump of busy-ness I'll be good to finally live life...

In high school, I'd play sports for no less than two teams every season, work, do homework, and, of course, socialize.  One could only dream to have this schedule now!

In college, there was a year where I carried 18 credits, worked a part-time co op, spent hours working and practicing with the concrete canoe team, and drank my face off.  What I would give to have these things to complain about again.

In '05, I planned our wedding, hubs changed jobs, and we bought our first house.  Ha, I laugh at myself for thinking it was a stressful year!  I was so naive.

In '08, I was flying back and forth every week to Peoria, IL via a layover in O'Hare for the entire summer.  The same summer we happened to have eight weddings over a few months.  One of which I was in, two for him.  And we had two dogs to take care of.  Looking back I can't believe I thought this was hard.

Over the past year, I have taken our brood out of our home no less than 80 times at an hour each for people to waltz through with hopes that they would by it.  And by brood I mean two puppies, a toddler, and a pregnant belly for the first 8 months, and the next 4 take away the belly (well a few lbs of it) and add a baby.  In the rain, in the dark, during naptime, after bedtime, on mothers' day morning before church.  In the stroller, on a bike, sitting in the car, driving around, or to my mom's house.  Let's add in a new job for both of us in the last year, trying to find a new home, and finally, finally accepting an offer and coordinating moving.  I think it's safe to say that this is the most stress our family can handle and hope things never get harder...

We were finally getting excited and preparing to make an offer on our new home when BAM.  The appraisal on our house came back ridiculously low and now the bank is refusing to lend to the buyer our agreed price.  We have two choices - say thanks but no thanks to the buyer, put the house back on the market, re-live the showings nightmare that has been the last year and hope for a non-FHA buyer; or concede another 8k to this buyer on top of the 40k discount from what we've put into it that he's already getting. 

Cue the sleepless nights again.

We have one glimmer of hope with a proposal I came up with, that could help both parties...  We'll drop the purchase price down if they let us remain in the house for 10 weeks after settlement, which would allow us to put in an offer free of contingencies and hopefully get a better price on our new home.  Not to mention we could move at our own pace after we settle, with the least amount of disruption to our children, dogs, and our lives.

Our lives.  When we packed up most of our clutter into a POD a year ago this week, we figured it would only be temporary.  We were so eager to get our house on the market thinking it would sell instantly and we could be settled in time for our annual labor day picnic that we backed out of a camping trip with friends.  All for what?  We're still here.  When our grill broke a month later we figured we'll hold off on buying a new one because rather than transport it we'll just get the new one at our new house.  I've been craving a charred hot dog for months.  We decided that rather than having a bbq for our friends and family we'd let the house show.  I miss hosting terribly.

We basically put our whole lives on hold.  Every weekend besides the two weeks after the little lobster roll was born there was at least one party coming through the house, so we spent countless hours cleaning, prepping, and staging.  We did this to the detriment of our children - throwing barney on while we rushed around the house, rushing them out the door to sit in the car with the dogs instead of going to the please touch museum, and having them eat meals in the car in the pool parking lot near our house, watching and waiting for the parties to show up and leave.

I'm sick of it.  Thankfully, we haven't had any showings in the last month because of the accepted offer, we just had the inspection, appraiser, and electrical repairmen to deal with.  And we slowly are getting our lives back. We took a random trip to the Brandywine Zoo two weeks ago, and the kids loved it.  Hubs and I did some food and wining this past weekend and had a blast.  Hoping to make it to the aquarium for fathers' day.  We're still filling in at least one day every week with packing and looking at houses, but I'm done being "too busy" to do fun stuff with the kids.

We're hoping and praying that the buyer accepts the proposal we set forth to him, because it would be worth the additional 8k to us to be able to enjoy this summer with our kids - camping, beaching, adventuring, with packing and moving being a side project.  It's time to take our lives off hold, and even if that means having a grill to transport, we're going to buy a new one now, and use it all summer. 

I am ready to start spending my free days like this:

Ready for a day at the zoo!  Or, like an hour!

Oh HIII Goat!

I love all of you goats!  You can't hide from me!

Here goats - eat the hay!

I am the goat whisperer

Daddy look at the river!  And this random kid who wants to hang out with us!

where to start?

Who's ready to EAT?

The month of May has been absolutely insane in our household... I can't even begin to gather my thoughts on writing a post on just one topic, so let's summarize.

1) The new job?  LOVE it.  The people are awesome, the hours are even better, and I am finally using my brain again (and my engineers' license!).  There is a lot of team collaboration and everyone respects the opinions of everybody else.  It's a small company that seems to have a work hard play hard mentality + family comes first, always.  The other day I had to run out to grab the Lil Lobster Roll from daycare because they didn't like the way a rash looked (turned out to be just eczema), but if it had been something I could have worked from home the rest of the day or brought her in!  After I returned and our meeting was over, the boss took myself and a consultant out for lunch complete with a round of lagers.  It's old school here with whiskey in the kitchen cabinet and professionalism on the front door.  I even went to a networking event last week (first time at one of these all alone without the crutch of a coworker) and schmoozed my way into making a few contacts with new potential clients.  Driving home from the event I had this surprising bout of confidence I've never felt before.

My auntie got me this shirt because my mommy is a nerdy engineer!

2) The house?  Under Contract.  After 333 days on the market we accepted an offer.  A 10% loss from what we bought it for but we're not going to dwell on that.  Inspections have gone well and all we need now is an appraisal.  And a place to live.  By July 17th.  House hunting all weekend!

3) The family?  Lots of fun!

The kids both had milestone checkups and they're stacking up to be my little chunkers.  Lil Lobster Roll weighed in at 14 lbs at her 4 month and 24 3/4" tall.  Her big boy brother Gobbles (if you can remember was 17 lbs by 4 months!) has shot up to 36" tall and 34 lbs at 2.5 years (well, we did the visit a little early, really like 29 months).  They got to see their cousin princess gal for a short period this weekend and we all enjoyed watching them!  Though I must say, the highlight of our trip to the in-laws' was watching Gobbles listen to his Pop (who has recovered nicely from his heart procedure) play with the local philharmonic in a memorial day celebration at a church.  Gobbles loved pointing out his trumpet and when the show was over I will never forget the image of my son running / skipping up the aisle with a huge grin on his face and happily jumping into his grandfather's arms for one of the sweetest hugs you could imagine!

just snoozin with my cuz and our sophies!

Ah!  I found the tv; cuz found the camera, and gobbles found mommy's phone.  And the blanket that matches his pants!  All three of us are thrilled that nana got us memorial day presents.  After all, that's what the holiday is for.. right??

The Lil Lobster Roll is babbling nonstop and has rolled once completely but is flopping from side to side all the time.  She started cereal and eats it like a champ and sleeps 8 hours a night (most of the time).  The swing has been replaced by the jumparoo but the toys don't matter because this girl LOVES the television.  If you are holding her and turn away from the tv, she'll whip around to get a better view.  She's just like her father, who'd look through you if there's something that interests him on there.  Most parents wouldn't be happy that an infant is so enthralled in the tube, but I am thrilled because I hope this means she can actually see the tv as opposed to her brother at this age, who had no interest in it (since we later found out he couldn't see it).  We won't be able to test this theory for another few months, but I'm remaining optimistic in the meantime.

Mo - om!  You're blockin the TV!

seriously?  you want me to JUMP??

Ohhh! This high chair is nice!

Just Gimme that spoon!

YUMMERS!

And Gobbles.  My dear sweet Gobbles.  He is such a two year old.  I can tell his little mind is working overtime just to oppose me.  Hey Gobbles see the sky?  It's blue.  response?  No mommy, actually it's like blue, but it's really purple.  And he's started on the WHY game.  With his sweetest little mocking voice.  Oh Mommy, the Lobster Roll is sad? Whhyyyyy? - Because she's hungry - She's hungry?  Whhhyyy? - Because she hasn't eaten yet - She didn't eat?  Whyyyyy?  - because Mommy didn't have time.  Mommy didn't have time?  Why? - because mommy's too busy answering all your questions!  Though I may sound like I'm complaining, it really is the most fun in the world, especially now that the bedtime battles I spoke of a few weeks ago have subsided.  Next up for Gobbles?  Potty training.  All of the sudden this week he's finally keeping it routine, doing all of his peeing on the toilet.  Pooping?  Nope, he'll still hide in a corner, but we're working on it.  And at school we've encouraged him to tell the teachers when he needs to go but he still hasn't.   We'll get there... there's no rush since the pediatrician told us after we move he's likely to take a few steps back anyway.  In the meantime I've changed our standing amazon order from diapers to pull ups! 

So Momma, you point to something on the ground?  I'll point to the sky!

Enough about the diaper - I'm an artist at work here!

Here Lobstah - this is how you make bubbles!

4) The friends? So much to say (and SO many pictures) about friends and their kids that I think I need some separate posts!  There are so many events going on with the girls that I've gotten to see everyone a lot over the past two months.  Showers, weddings, and kids' birthday parties have all been a blast.  I love watching the kids interact, each exhibiting parts of their parents' personalities and still displaying their own unique qualities.  Hubs had off last Friday and we hung out with our college buddies.  The hosts of the get-together have a daughter Gobbles' age and a son a few months older than the Lobster Roll.  The others have a daughter just a few weeks older than ours.  We spent all day sipping brews (just sipping, as all three mommas are nursing!) and watching the kids enjoy the outdoors.  Gobbles was having so much fun that we stayed through lunch and dinner.  He even had his first (and probably last until college) bath with someone else - his little gal pal. 

5) The future?  It seems as though we have the entire summer mapped out already, minications and events almost every weekend now thru labor day, with maybe two weekends free to move and unpack.  We've two beach trips, camping, a wedding, parties, and hopefully some bbqs.  Life will get pretty hectic considering when we go camping (and the aforementioned college friends) I'll have to leave hubs there with the kids halfway through the trip to come home and go to a bachelorette party.  But I know we're going to have so much fun.  It will be a great summer.

Everybody get your roll on!

We even voluntarily take pictures together now... sometimes :) 
ps - the shirt the lobster is wearing was the first baby item i ever purchased.  A penguin saying, "everybody needs a widdle wuv".  It's from my visit to the Monterey bay aquarium the week after I found out I was pregnant with Gobbles.  I cried when I put it on his sister, not sure why, prob because I'm an emotional mess!  Check out Gobbles wearing it here.

How to make a baby paranoid

Mount the monitor camera on the side of their crib right where they'll notice it!  What three month old mugs for the camera?

Hey!  What's that? Mommy I'm awake are you there?? 

Hi there!!  Look I broke that swaddle again!

PLLLHTTTTT!  I LOVE stickin my tongue out at that camera!